IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

It can be observed that
students
Use synonyms
 in worldwide nations take a
Use synonyms
year
Use the right word
one-year
show examples
gap
Use synonyms
 after their high school graduation and
searching
Wrong verb form
search
show examples
 for working
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 internships or touring around the world
during
Punctuation problem
, during
show examples
this
Linking Words
 one-
year
Use synonyms
 period. From my perspective, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 have drawbacks.
For example
Linking Words
, if
students
Use synonyms
 choose to have a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
, they will
also
Linking Words
 graduate a
year
Use synonyms
 later than the
students
Use synonyms
 who get in to universities straight away after graduation, which means they may lost some valuable chances of job applications because they are not likely to predict, even have no idea about what situation they have to face in the future employment environment, perhaps
students
Use synonyms
 from
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 will receive a considerable job offer but schoolers finishing school next
year
Use synonyms
 will not have
this
Linking Words
 kind of luck. Despite the downsides, there are more positive sides when
students
Use synonyms
 take a
year
Use synonyms
gap
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 before they become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freshmen
of
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
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. Take my cousin as an example, he is a business major
Use synonyms
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
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 who studies in the United States
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 he actually made a combination of studying first-
year
Use synonyms
 courses beforehand and
travel
Verb problem
travelling
show examples
 the world, which makes him less
pressure
Replace the word
pressured
show examples
 when becoming a university member because he already learned the basic content of his major in his freshman
year
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, a world tour is not only for fun and relaxation during the
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
 a priceless experience of expanding horizons.
In addition
Linking Words
, having an internship in
this
Linking Words
 period is
also
Linking Words
 a foundation for
future
Correct article usage
a future
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 career, because having
this
Linking Words
 kind of experience in the company will have higher possibilities to become an official staff
in
Check wording
member in
show examples
 the place where
students
Use synonyms
 have
internship
Correct article usage
an internship
show examples
. In conclusion,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 a
year
Use synonyms
gap
Use synonyms
 after finishing high school is a valuable time for
students
Use synonyms
 to improve their personal skills in different ways
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the outcomes will be beneficial for their future path, but the premise is to be prepared to face the instability of the working environment.

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task
Be clear in your view at the start and restate it in the end.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences and link ideas with simple words like first, next, and also.
language
Fix grammar and spelling. check verb tense and subject‑verb form in each sentence.
content
Add more simple examples to back up points, even small facts or numbers.
task
The writer shows a clear view that advantages outweigh disadvantages.
content
There is use of a personal example to support a point.
content
The topic is relevant and the answer stays on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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