IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that consumerism is positive due to its impact on economic growth. While others think it is negative because it brings environmental and social issues. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent years, the debate on consumerism has strongly increased. Some argue that it has a positive effect on
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
;
however
Linking Words
, others believe that it is the cause of environmental and societal problems. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both sides of the perspective and explain my stand. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, consumerism brings a positive effect on
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, it helps create a lot of job opportunities. People who have just graduated from university can have numerous opportunities
as
Change preposition
in
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 intern positions to try.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 brings significant environmental and social issues.
For instance
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, the waste
of
Change preposition
from
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 plastic products has become a major problem these days.
Due to
Linking Words
 the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of tourists, there are a lot of shops that choose to use one-time containers; they believe that it is way easier for both the shops and the customers. But it actually brings huge and negative effects to the environment, and
also
Linking Words
 is not helpful for a sustainable future. In conclusion, in my opinion, I believe that the disadvantage outweighs the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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. Because the bad impact it accompanies is
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
 people's
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
, and it
also
Linking Words
 can not be reuseable.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the connection between ideas. Start each paragraph with a clear point and add a line that shows how it links to the next idea.
task response
Be clear about your view at the end. Say your main stance in one simple line and keep it in the last paragraph.
task response
Give more strong and simple examples to support each point.
coherence and cohesion
Check errors in words and grammar. Use correct forms like internships, single-use containers, reusable.
structure
Two sides are shown and a clear view is given
structure
Intro and conclusion present
coherence
Simple linking of ideas helps flow
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • stimulates demand
  • overconsumption
  • depletion of natural resources
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • manufacturing and disposal processes
  • materialism
  • social inequality
  • sustainable consumption practices
  • responsible consumption
  • innovative
  • competitive
  • standards of living
What to do next:
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