IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that children should be taught at school how to become good parents. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is widely acknowledged that the
education
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 should start at home.
Alghought
Correct your spelling
Although
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 that
no
Rephrase
not
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received
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 when they were younger. I strongly agree that
children
Use synonyms
 receive
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 in
tha
Correct your spelling
the
school
Use synonyms
 for that reason.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, from my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
 I
belived
Correct your spelling
believe
 that the
children
Use synonyms
 need a strong and committed
education
Use synonyms
 from the
school
Use synonyms
. The first step in your life will be the future for that boy.We should be in contact with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society all the time
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to improve the
education
Use synonyms
 of the
children
Use synonyms
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, some
school
Use synonyms
 has a full-day study
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 in
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 the
children
Use synonyms
 take lunch
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
. They receive full knowledge and development for the future.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I would like to mention that the
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 play a strong
game
Check wording
role
show examples
 in the
education
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
children
Use synonyms
. When the
children
Use synonyms
start to
Verb problem
take
show examples
 their first step in their life.
Is
Correct pronoun usage
It is
show examples
 important to know the
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 his parents.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
parent
Use synonyms
 that not committed
with
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will not ensure your
children
Use synonyms
's success over time.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, I would like to add that the initial
education
Use synonyms
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
 his
parent
Use synonyms
 is important too, but
Correct pronoun usage
it depend
show examples
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
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how
Change preposition
on how
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is
Verb problem
apply
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the
relation
Replace the word
relationship
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 inside of home
Verb problem
is, if
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, if
Punctuation problem
. If
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 fight all the time and the
children
Use synonyms
 see
this
Linking Words
acction
Correct your spelling
action
,
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 not good
well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
for the
children
Use synonyms
.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 I
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
 agree that the
children
Use synonyms
 need to
Use synonyms
education
Wrong verb form
be educated
show examples
 at the
school
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
 the government
shold
Correct your spelling
should
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
support the
school
Use synonyms
 to give
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
children
Use synonyms
 the best
education
Use synonyms
.

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task
Your idea is clear that school should teach parenting, but keep this idea as the main aim in each paragraph.
grammar
Use short, simple sentences to reduce mistakes.
coherence
Use clear link words to show how ideas go from one to another.
grammar
Check punctuation and cap only with the first word of a sentence.
content
Give one or two clear examples to support your point.
content
You state your view clearly.
structure
The essay has an intro and a short conclusion.
coherence
Some linking words are used to join ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Boarding school
  • Day school
  • Parental involvement
  • Independence
  • Responsibility
  • Social skills
  • Academic outcomes
  • Facilities
  • Community environment
  • Family bonds
  • Emotional support
  • Cost implications
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Diverse backgrounds
  • Parental oversight
What to do next:
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