IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

The three diagrams illustrate maps of West Park Secondary
School
Use synonyms
 from 1950, 1980, and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the majority of facility positions have been changed throughout the period.
Firstly
Linking Words
, starting in 1950 when construction began, houses were located beside the road,
while
Linking Words
 the
school
Use synonyms
 was on the east side. The farmland was on the southern side of the houses, followed by a playground.  30 years after construction, the house area was converted into a car park and was affected by the
school
Use synonyms
's expansion. The science block was built beside the car park, and the
school
Use synonyms
 became the main building. A sports field was available at the farmland's location, and the playground was still available. In the final year, the parking area was greatly expanded and took over the sports fields' location.
However
Linking Words
, the science block and the
school
Use synonyms
's main building remained the same. The playground area was reduced and divided into a sports field.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: