The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process.

The diagram illustrates shows it ways
chocolate
Use synonyms
is made and
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the nine stages from the beginning is making to the end of the production ,
also
Linking Words
value
Correct article usage
the value
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of a
chocolate
Use synonyms
in the
process
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the procedure transforms the
cocoa
Use synonyms
grinder into a
chocolate
Use synonyms
bar
it
Punctuation problem
. It
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is made from another material,like as sugar and water .Notably,
this
Linking Words
process
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is divided into defrost and freeze .
In addition
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to the price in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many places. The
process
Use synonyms
of starting
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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the
cocoa
Use synonyms
put in the machine
after
Punctuation problem
, after
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that of waste it turns
to
Change preposition
into
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cocoa
Use synonyms
hquor
Correct your spelling
liquor
when it
Linking Words
finally is
Correct word order
is finally
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add
Wrong verb form
added to
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pressno
Correct your spelling
press no
and
cocoa
Use synonyms
powder with
cocoa
Use synonyms
butter. Once separated, they put it in
food
Correct article usage
the food
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industry
Punctuation problem
industry,
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it
together
Verb problem
is mixed together
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Correct word order
with suqar
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suqar
Correct your spelling
sugar
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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mixed
Replace the word
mixture
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of materials with each other it is distributed in the
mold
Change the spelling
mould
show examples
it
formation
Replace the word
form
show examples
Use synonyms
chocolate
Correct article usage
a chocolate
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bar.
Linking Words
Subsequently
Add a comma
Subsequently,
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the
process
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is divided into on the supermarket nearly 34,
while
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
chocolate
Correct article usage
the chocolate
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company around 10.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chocolate, process, cocoa with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "divided" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultivation
  • harvesting
  • extraction
  • fermentation
  • drying
  • roasting
  • grinding
  • chocolate liquor
  • price distribution
  • stakeholders
  • retail price
  • environmental impact
  • social impact
  • deforestation
  • unfair labor practices
  • fair trade
  • organic farming
  • innovations
  • disease-resistant
  • sustainable production
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