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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Not all drivers obey the laws while driving on roads. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to fix this problem?

In many parts from around the world, there are
people
Use synonyms
 who
drive
Use synonyms
 recklessly; in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain the reasons behind
this
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 trend and provide solutions. On the one hand, death rates that are caused by driving have increased over time
due to
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 many causes.
Firstly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 are impatient and feel rushed to
drive
Use synonyms
 so fast
so
Change preposition
that
show examples
 they can reach their work on time;
this
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 causes
crash-outs
Use the right word
crashes
show examples
 and accidents.
Secondly
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, distraction: many individuals when driving are distracted with interruptions
such
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 as watching their phones, daydreaming and falling asleep
due to
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 not sleeping well
last
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 night.
Thirdly
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, some may feel that they are superior drivers and will not get caught when they are disobeying the laws;
in addition
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 to that, many think that
people
Use synonyms
's safety does not matter and will prioritise their needs more.
On the other hand
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, governments should introduce many solutions to help reduce the proportion of traffic accidents.
For example
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, they should put cameras to track cars that
drive
Use synonyms
 over the limit and
put
Verb problem
impose
show examples
 fines for
people
Use synonyms
 who rebel against
rules
Correct article usage
the rules
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, governments should spread awareness about the damage careless driving may cause and
also
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 design programmes that train
people
Use synonyms
 how to
drive
Use synonyms
 well and teach them about the laws and signs that are meant for the road.
Moreover
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, government agencies should start maintaining the roads and clear any infrastructure issues.
To conclude
Linking Words
, dangerous driving causes many issues which lead to vehicle damage and injuries to the drivers;
therefore
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, police should raise awareness and warn
people
Use synonyms
 about how threatening to life reckless driving may be.

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planning
Make a clear plan before you write. Put one main idea in each paragraph and follow it with a small, calm step.
content
For each reason and each fix, give one simple example so the reader can see it.
cohesion
Use easy links between ideas, like 'also', 'and', 'but', 'then', to guide the reader.
structure
Keep each paragraph about one main idea, and end with a clear point in the last sentence.
conclusion
End with a strong final sentence that restates the big idea.
structure
The essay uses a simple layout with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
content
The topic is easy to follow and ideas are not hard to see.
cohesion
There is a basic link of causes to fixes that helps the reader.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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