IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Children in rural areas are being left behind in their academic development. Why is this is the case? What solutions can you suggest?

Children
Use synonyms
 in rural areas are increasingly falling behind their urban counterparts in terms of academic achievement.
This
Linking Words
 disparity is the result of several interconnected factors, primarily related to limited resources and socio-economic challenges.
However
Linking Words
, with targeted interventions,
this
Linking Words
 gap can be significantly reduced. One major reason for poor academic development in rural areas is the lack of educational infrastructure. Many rural schools suffer from inadequate facilities, outdated learning materials, and a shortage of qualified teachers. Talented educators often prefer urban postings
due to
Linking Words
 better salaries, professional growth opportunities, and living conditions.
As a result
Linking Words
, rural students are frequently taught by undertrained staff, which directly affects the quality of education they receive.
In addition
Linking Words
, limited access to technology
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as computers and reliable
internet
Punctuation problem
internet,
show examples
 prevents rural
children
Use synonyms
 from benefiting from modern learning tools that are now essential for academic success. Another contributing factor is poverty. Families in rural areas often rely on agriculture or manual
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
, requiring
children
Use synonyms
 to assist with household income or chores.
This
Linking Words
 reduces the time and energy students can devote to their studies and increases school dropout rates.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, parents with low educational backgrounds may struggle to support their
children
Use synonyms
 academically, reinforcing the cycle of disadvantage. To address these issues, governments must
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
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 investment in rural education. Offering financial incentives, housing benefits, and career advancement opportunities can attract skilled teachers to rural schools. Expanding digital infrastructure is
also
Linking Words
 crucial, as online learning platforms can compensate for shortages in teaching staff and resources.
Additionally
Linking Words
, scholarship programs and free meal schemes can reduce the financial burden on families, allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to focus on their education. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 rural
children
Use synonyms
 face significant educational disadvantages
due to
Linking Words
 structural and economic factors, strategic government policies and targeted investment can ensure they are no longer left behind. Bridging
this
Linking Words
 gap is essential not only for individual success but
also
Linking Words
 for national development.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a short view of what you will say. Then put one idea per paragraph with a clear link word.
content
Add more real facts or numbers to back your points. For example, give a number about school gap or a real program that works.
language
Use simple word. Do not use long hard words. Keep the flow easy to read and easy to mark by the reader.
overview
Clear view of the issue and plan to fix.
coherence
Paragraphs show a good link of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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