IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that governments should spend more money on public transport rather than building new roads. Do you agree or disagree?

Although
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 some
people
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 think that countries should expend a lot of
money
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 on public
transport
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instead
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 of having new roads, I disagree with that.
To begin
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 with, every country should focus on the fabrication of new streets.
In other words
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, governments have to use large areas which not useful anymore and convert them into streets, roads, or even a bridge.
As a result
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,
this
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 led to less traffic and arrival at the destination on time.
In addition
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, as the population numbers increase over time, in the future ,
people
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 will suffer from the heavy traffic. Another point to consider, spending a high amount of
money
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 on public
transport
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 ,
such
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 as trains, taxis, and buses, plays an essential role in society. Many
people
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 don't have enough
money
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 to have a vehicle, and others don't know how to drive, so it's better for the governments to spend a lot of
money
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 on public
transport
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 to provide support. In conclusion,
although
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 it's essential to expend more
money
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 on public
transport
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 to help
people
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, it's more significant to build new roads to avoid congestion on the streets.

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task response
Your view is clear, but you need more detail and clear proof for ideas. add a specific point for why roads or public transport help.
coherence
Try to use one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a general statement, then give a small example or detail.
coherence
Use simple link words to show how ideas follow: First, Also, But, So, However, As a result.
grammar
Fix grammar and word choice. Use short, plain form: build new roads, grow population, people
lexical
Give real examples, even small ones, like a city with new roads cut jam or buses help poor people.
stance
The writer shows a clear choice in the first paragraph.
organization
Paragraphs have a clear sign of order like 'To begin with', 'In addition', 'In conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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