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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household chores equally between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

These days, it is often argued that it is practical to share
household
Use synonyms
 responsibilities between couples because most
women
Use synonyms
 have permanent employment. I agree with
this
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 statement because they are educated and have time constraints to meet
household
Use synonyms
 obligations.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss my views with relevant examples.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, females are working in full-time jobs to contribute positively to the economy and support their growing family needs.
In other words
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, modern
women
Use synonyms
 are educated , and they would like to share their knowledge and skills for the benefit of the community.
Additionally
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, in
this
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 fast-paced world, it has become a necessity in certain families that they should work to make ends meet.
For example
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, a recent investigation revealed that an average of 57% of
women
Use synonyms
 are employed in various sectors with significant earning potential
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
while
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 managing their finances.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 working culture makes it logical to share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household
Use synonyms
 activities between men and
women
Use synonyms
.
In other words
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, working feminists always have time constraints managing their chores at home, as they spend
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 majority of their time at work.
Hence
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, sharing tasks,
such
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 as cleaning and washing dishes , between couples has become more common these days.
Furthermore
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,
such
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 a trend
also
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 strengthens the bond in personal relationships, which provides stability in the family.
For instance
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, a recent study revealed that partners of working females are very supportive at home
while
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 cooking or managing children, as they believe that they are equally accountable , contributing towards a healthy family. In conclusion,
women
Use synonyms
 are having permanent employment in many countries, which makes it meaningful that men can contribute equally
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
household
Use synonyms
 activities,
such
Linking Words
 as cooking or cleaning. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because educated
women
Use synonyms
 have skills that can be utilised for the wellness of society,
while
Linking Words
 contributing financially to support their partners and children.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is logical that men can assist them with tasks at home.

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coherence
Your answer has a clear view, but add a short note that shows you see other sides and then state your view.
coherence
Link ideas with more clear joins and make one idea per paragraph.
examples
Use examples that fit the point and show how they prove your view.
grammar
Watch verb and comma use, and keep small mistakes low.
structure
The position is clear at the start and in the end.
content
You use some examples to support your idea.
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