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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, the advent of artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 has sparked debate among experts that
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 the coming years, the cutting-edge technology will transcend human ability in various fields of work.
This
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 essay will discuss both the advantages and drawbacks of these issues.
To begin
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 with, technological advancement in the field of artificial
intelligence
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 has been increasing rapidly in the
last
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 5 years, especially
due to
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 the innovations conducted by well-known companies
such
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 as Nvidia, Broadcom, and OpenAI.
This
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 phenomenon leads to automatization, which means that traditional jobs are being replaced by machines and computers, considered much more accurate and faster and less costly,
hence
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 will save the company’s resources and enhance efficiency.
For example
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, the use of robots in Amazon replacing thousands of workers is able to reduce packaging costs in 2024 by approximately 25%.
Besides
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, the utilisation of Microsoft Copilot and Chat GPT is able to provide various information and data for the presentation,
thus
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 job vacancy for a secretary is at risk.
However
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,
optimalisation
Correct your spelling
optimisation
 in computer
intelligence
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 has an adverse effect, especially job losses
due to
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 automation, because their duties are already taken by machines and robots, and eventually increases the rate of unemployment.
Besides
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, the rapid growth in artificial
intelligence
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 contributes to low labour demand in the job market.
According to
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 a survey conducted by The Jakarta Post in 2025, the jobless rate for data analysts bachelor’s degree has increased by 17% compared to the previous year. In conclusion, even though the advent of artificial
intelligence
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 causes the increase rate of unemployment and the decline in labour demand, it improves enterprises’ efficiency and leads to a faster business process.

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task
State a clear view in the intro and in the end to show your own position on the issue.
content
Add stronger, precise examples and check facts like dates and numbers.
coherence
Use simple link words to connect ideas with a steady flow.
coherence
Keep sentences short and clear, and stay on one main idea in each paragraph.
grammar
Be consistent with tense and avoid long, hard sentences.
content
The essay discusses both sides of the issue.
content
There are real life examples used to back up points.
structure
There is a clear overall structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • cognitive capabilities
  • technological singularity
  • ethical standards
  • regulatory frameworks
  • personalized services
  • erosion of privacy
  • misuse of AI
  • stringent
  • mitigate
  • advancements
  • dependency
  • efficiently
  • complex problems
  • quality of life
  • significant
  • intelligent AI
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