IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

some people believe that only the fittest and strangest individuals and teams can suceed in sports. other think that success in sports depends on mental attitudes. discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

For now,
people
Use synonyms
 have different opinions about
suceed
Correct your spelling
success
 in
sports
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that only the fittest and
strangest
Use the right word
strongest
show examples
 individuals and teams can be successful,
while
Linking Words
 others say that
success
Use synonyms
 in
sports
Use synonyms
 depends on mental attitudes. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
fittest
Correct article usage
the fittest
show examples
 and strongest are the only
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 achieve
sucecess
Correct your spelling
success
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
, we usually need some physical ability to compete with others,
such
Linking Words
 as strength, speed,
power
Correct word choice
and power
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
emphasis
Replace the word
emphasise
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
strength training
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to stimulate and build your body.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we can know from these
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 and the key role in
success
Use synonyms
 in
sports
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 say that
success
Use synonyms
 in
sports
Use synonyms
 depends on mental attitudes, we know about in
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
competition
Replace the word
competitive
show examples
 and cruel
athletes'
Check wording
apply
show examples
world, which is easy to give up when you face some failure and depression.
In most of
Change preposition
Most
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports teams
show examples
team
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as basketball, baseball,
soccer
Correct word choice
and soccer
show examples
,
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 having few
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mental therapists on the
team
Use synonyms
. These mean that the mental attitudes
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
are also
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 part of
success
Use synonyms
 in
sports
Use synonyms
.
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 personally believe that
strongest
Correct article usage
the strongest
show examples
team
Use synonyms
 and individuals are the key role in
success
Use synonyms
 in
sports
Use synonyms
, but even
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 the strongest
team
Use synonyms
 and
individuels
Correct your spelling
individuals
 without mental attitude
is
Verb problem
makes it
show examples
 hard to boost their performance and achieve
success
Use synonyms
.

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language
Improve spelling and grammar. Fix key mistakes like 'suceed' -> 'succeed' and 'individuels' -> 'individuals' so meaning is clear.
structure
Make a clear intro that states what you will discuss and a short, clear ending that restates your view.
content
Add more real examples from sport to back each view and your own opinion.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show cause and contrast and to join ideas smoothly.
grammar
Check subject-verb form and noun plurals, and keep sentences short so they are easy to read.
content
You show two sides and give your own view.
structure
You use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show contrast.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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