IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, people spend longer hours at work. Why does this happen? What problems can this cause?

These days, it is often argued that
employees
Use synonyms
 are spending an extended
time
Use synonyms
 at
work
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 rather than
scheduled
Correct pronoun usage
their scheduled
show examples
 working
hours
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact of over-reliance on technology and failure to set well-defined
time
Use synonyms
 limit boundaries.
This
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 trend can cause significant
problems
Use synonyms
 in achieving
overall
Linking Words
Use synonyms
work-life
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balance
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 and
deteriorating
Wrong verb form
deteriorate
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental
health
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, spending long
hours
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 is largely
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
work
Use synonyms
 limit boundaries are not defined properly between staff and employers.
This
Linking Words
 means that certain employers expect their
employees
Use synonyms
 to stay online or
work
Use synonyms
 after
hours
Use synonyms
 in order to maintain smooth operations.
Additionally
Linking Words
, having access to the internet has made it more convenient for employers to contact their staff in case of emergency situations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, without setting a proper boundary between
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 life and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal life, it is impossible to achieve a
Use synonyms
work-life
Use synonyms
balance
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, and,
for
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this
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reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
 many individuals
work
Use synonyms
 overtime even after their shift
hours
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent report revealed that an average of 38% of
employees
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 keep switching jobs because they are unable to handle their overtime pressure, which
is resulting
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
 in
health
Use synonyms
 issues. Spending long
hours
Use synonyms
 causes numerous personal and
health
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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,
Use synonyms
work-life
Use synonyms
balance
Use synonyms
 is impacted. I mean that they do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to spend effectively with their families or engage in activities that
interests
Correct subject-verb agreement
interest
show examples
 them, which affects their personal relationships.
Secondly
Linking Words
, an increase in
work
Use synonyms
 pressure and additional responsibilities weakens their mental
health
Use synonyms
. Working for a long
time
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 without much relaxation causes
problems
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as anxiety and depression.
For example
Linking Words
, an investigation revealed that conditions
such
Linking Words
 as chronic stress and depression are the most common
problems
Use synonyms
 of today's society, especially among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working adults. In conclusion,
employees
Use synonyms
 are working long
hours
Use synonyms
 in many countries, and
this
Linking Words
 is mainly because they
failed
Verb problem
have failed
show examples
 to define
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
a time
show examples
 limit between their
work
Use synonyms
 and personal lives in order to achieve
Use synonyms
work-life
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balance
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.
Such
Linking Words
 a culture will impact individuals
singnificanlty
Correct your spelling
significantly
 in maintaining their personal relationships and mental well-being.

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structure
Start with a clear answer to the prompt in the first sentence. Then add two or three reasons and a short view on the impact. End with a simple conclusion.
coherence
Use simple links like 'and', 'but', 'so', 'also', 'for example' to show how ideas connect. Keep one idea per sentence.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Fix wrong words ('I mean', 'interests', 'singnificanlty'). Use short, clear sentences.
content
The essay shows a clear idea about long work hours and their effect on life and health.
structure
The writer uses order words 'First', 'Second' to show steps.
content
The topic is kept on work and life balance, a good focus.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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