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Band 4.5

Every year more and more students chose to study online rather than attend classes on campus. what do you think are the cause of this ? what sollutions can you suggest ?

Throughout the years, education has drastically changed in many ways. Today,
students
Use synonyms
 have
an
Correct article usage
the
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 option to study online rather than attend
classes
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. The number of
students
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 wanting to study online
instead
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 of on campus increases every year.
This
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 essay will discuss the causes and solutions of
this
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 issue. There are many
purposes
Check wording
reasons
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 that make
students
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 not attend
classes
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 on campus.
First,
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some
students
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 may find attending lectures extremely boring.
Such
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students
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 need entertainment within education
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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institutes
Replace the word
institutions
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 do nothing about it.
Secondly
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, some
students
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 deal with challenges to attend. They often don’t have a source of
transportation
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, and they deal with challenges to get to the building. Some don’t have a car
and
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, and
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 others can’t afford
transportation
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 costs.
Finally
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, the major reason
students
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 don’t attend
classes
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 is because of strict timings. Universities put very precise early
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classes
Fix the agreement mistake
class
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 timings for
students
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,
such
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 as
classes
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 that start at 7 AM.
As a result
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, scholars are less interested
with
Change preposition
in
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classes
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 in educational institutions. There are
also
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 multiple solutions
to
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for
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such
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students
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. To start with, universities can start providing sources of entertainment for learners.
For example
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, provide activities
such
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 as board games or sports.
This
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 way
attendees
Punctuation problem
, attendees
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 will be motivated to attend daily.
Moreover
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, institutions can provide
transportation
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 for
students
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for
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at
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 a decreased price.
Instead
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 of
students
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 suffering to afford
transportation
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, the university provides buses specifically for
students
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.
Therefore
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,
students
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 will stop worrying about
transportation
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.
Furthermore
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, educators can adjust their timings for the
scholars
Check wording
scholars'
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 sake. Rather than a class starting
earlier
Add a comma
earlier,
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 it can adjust to an hour later.
This
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 will ensure
students
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 are more likely to attend. In conclusion, every problem has a solution to it, and now
students
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 can attend with no doubts. The student environment affects the choice of attending. So, academies should improve their environment to ensure attendance.

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planning
Make a clear plan: state causes first, then list solutions in two main parts.
content
Add more detail for each cause and for each solution.
coherence
Use smooth links to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
grammar
Check grammar and use simple word choice to avoid tricky phrases.
structure
End with a short conclusion that restates your main view.
content
The topic is clear and you touch on both causes and solutions.
content
You use some real examples like transport and early class times.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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