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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, the age gap between parents and children is greater than in the past. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays
in
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, in
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 85 per cent of the
world
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world,
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 have a huge
age
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 gap between
parents
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 and children. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 I strongly believe that
years
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 of difference between adults and
kids
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 is way
more
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apply
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safer than being basically your kid's
age
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.
This
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 essay will argue why the
advantages
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outweight
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outweigh
 the disadvantages as teens can not
be having
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have
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 a
todler
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toddler
 at
such
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 a young
age
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. Admittedly, one of the minor
advantages
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 of raising
kids
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 at
such
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a
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an
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 early
duration
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age
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 is that
parents
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 can live longer and see their
kids
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 and grandkids grow.
This
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 can help with
kids
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 who have attachment issues. One clear example
for
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of
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that is
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 my grandmother, she is 14
years
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 older than my father, she is still young and has so many
years
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 ahead of her. All in all, having a little amount of
years
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 is sometimes a good thing. Despite the
advantages
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 above, one of the major disadvantages is that most of the
times
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time
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 the toddlers misbehave because they are being raised by teens.
For example
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, most teen
parents
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 use drugs and alcohol.
Therefore
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, the baby is going to grow up thinking that it is normal.
This
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 could lead the kid to start using illegal materials in the future.
To conclude
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, getting
kids
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 at a young
age
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 is a terrible decision because some can not handle the responsibility
due to
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 their
immiturity
Correct your spelling
immaturity
 and
age
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. I believe the disadvantages
outweight
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outweigh
 the
advantages
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 because not all teen
parents
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 are supported by their families.
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Therefore
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Therefore,
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 they sometimes attempt to take their lives or their
kid's
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kids'
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.

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content
State a clear answer to the question in the intro.
structure
Put two main ideas in the body and explain each simply.
content
Use one good example for each idea that fits.
language
Use small and easy words. Check spellings.
structure
Use linking words like also, but, so to join ideas.
structure
End with a short and clear conclusion.
content
The essay shows effort to answer the task.
structure
There is a closing line.
content
Some on topic ideas are included.
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