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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that online education is more beneficial than traditional classroom learning. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of online education.

A growing number of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that online
education
Use synonyms
 is more effective and helpful for a person than traditional learning.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 method of studying can remove the distance barrier, it can result in social isolation among students.
Education
Use synonyms
 is important
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 more
people
Use synonyms
 having access to it is essential. Advocates of online
education
Use synonyms
 mostly argue that it has made lessons available to millions of
people
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 worldwide
regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distance. If you get sick or something unexpected happens in your life,
instead
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 of skipping a lesson,
now it’s
Correct word order
it’s now
show examples
 feasible to watch the teaching process by using your gadgets. Private tutors, previously used for in-depth learning, are not absolutely necessary nowadays, with the appearance of virtual classes. Online learning can
also
Linking Words
 make you comprehend the lesson better, since the language in textbooks may be difficult to follow and having a teacher
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 is capable of explaining the topic makes the learning process easier.
However
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, having a teacher nearby is
in
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, in
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 most cases
crucial
Punctuation problem
, crucial
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. Experiencing face-to-face lessons is likely to make
people
Use synonyms
 successful in their studies, since the physical
existence
Check wording
presence
show examples
 of the teacher can put psychological pressure on students. Learners might push themselves harder to get better results, to not be left behind by their peers. Competitiveness in
real world
Use the right word
real-world
show examples
 classes is necessary, as it allows students to improve their
quick-decision
Replace the word
quick decision-making
show examples
 and critical-thinking skills to win over their groupmates.
As a result
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, they can have closer relationships, possibly resulting in new friendships being formed.
In addition
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, if
people
Use synonyms
 study
virtually
Punctuation problem
virtually,
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 they are more likely to feel loneliness
due to
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 not being in the same room as others.
This
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 could make a person feel disconnected from reality, leading to educational problems.If they do not have any friends or family members to communicate with, the group with which they study could act as a
safety-harness
Use the right word
safety harness
show examples
 In conclusion,
although
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 online
education
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 has made learning more accessible by eliminating distance and offering greater flexibility, it
also
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 carries the risk of being isolated. Traditional classroom learning,
on the other hand
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, provides direct interaction and healthy competition, all of which play an important role in students’ academic success.
Therefore
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,
while
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 online
education
Use synonyms
 is a valuable alternative in certain situations, face-to-face learning remains more effective for most learners
overall
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Fix the flow by linking ideas with small words. Use words like first, also, and but to connect ideas. Make sure each para has one main idea and a link to the next paragraph.
structure
The essay has a plan with intro, body and conclusion.
development
It shows both sides, not just one view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online
  • class
  • teacher
  • student
  • study
  • learn
  • home
  • school
  • lesson
  • course
  • program
  • classroom
  • pace
  • time
  • flexible
  • access
  • materials
  • video
  • recording
  • feedback
  • test
  • exam
  • grade
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • benefit
  • problem
  • solution
  • support
  • need
  • opinion
  • agree
  • disagree
  • balance
  • combine
  • practice
  • theory
  • subject
  • discussion
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • community
  • face
  • face to face
  • group
  • team
  • interaction
  • life
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