IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the population of mature participants in seven different major sports in a place in 1997 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tennis is the
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
 which
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
chosen
Verb problem
been chosen
show examples
 by most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adults in the area in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1997 and 2017.
Conversely
Linking Words
, basketball was the one which
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 chosen by the least personnel in 1997, and it
becames
Correct your spelling
became
 cricket in 2007. If it is compared by the type of sports, 50
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
audlts
Correct your spelling
adults
 played tennis in 1997
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the number had
rosen
Correct your spelling
risen
 to over 50
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 in 2017. The number of golf
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 and
swimmer
Fix the agreement mistake
swimmers
show examples
 maintained its proportion, which was between 30
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 to 40
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 from 1997 to 2017.
In addition
Linking Words
, there were significant surges of participants
numbers
Check wording
apply
show examples
both in football and in rugby, from over 30
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 in 1997 to nearly 50
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people in 2017. Basketball player was less than 10
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 in 1997
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
,
It was
Verb problem
it
show examples
 increased to over 20
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 after two decades.
Conversely
Linking Words
, over 25
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
residents played cricket in 1997,
while
Linking Words
 the number fell to less than 10
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 in 2017.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "conversely".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words thousands with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • increase/decrease in numbers
  • trend
  • decade
  • relatively stable
  • major sports
  • potential reasons
  • contributing factors
  • public interest
  • comparison
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