IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many parents go to work in other countries and take family with them. Do the advantages in this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, moving abroad for
parents
Use synonyms
 with their families has become increasingly common in many parts of the world.
Although
Linking Words
 there
some
Verb problem
are some
show examples
disadventages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will argue that the
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 are more significant One main merit of
this
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 tendency is abandonment.
In other words
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,
children
Use synonyms
 who live without their
parents
Use synonyms
 often experience loneliness.
For example
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, should
parents
Use synonyms
 leave their kids because of their work,
children
Use synonyms
 may grow up
by
Change preposition
apply
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feeling anxiety or
insocurity
Correct your spelling
insecurity
, worrying about whether their
parents
Use synonyms
 will return or still care for them.
Moreover
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, some
children
Use synonyms
 develop anger or abandonment
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
show examples
 if they feel neglected or left behind.
As a result
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,
this
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seperation
Correct your spelling
separation
 can
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 their
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 emotional development,
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, and academic
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance
 as well.
Nonetheless
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, what many people overlook is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 culture shock.
That is
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 to say,
children
Use synonyms
 who
recently
Verb problem
have recently
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move
Wrong verb form
moved
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 abroad may
experiance
Correct your spelling
experience
 difficulty
to
Verb problem
adjusting to
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adjust
Verb problem
apply
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a new place
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For
Punctuation problem
. For
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 instance, having moved abroad to
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 city, young individuals often struggle to
adopt
Use the right word
adapt
show examples
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 new school
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 feeling of isolation can be
experianced
Correct your spelling
experienced
,
especialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 if they are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
age
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Therefor
Use the right word
Therefore
show examples
, they may have some problems with balancing school and
adoption
Use the right word
adaptation
show examples
 to
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 environment. It is
parents
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 the strongest foundation of emotional development,
nevertheless
Linking Words
 In conclusion, seldom do
parents
Use synonyms
 consider
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how their action of going abroad to work affects the
children
Use synonyms
 badly. It is
parents
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 the
srongest
Correct your spelling
strongest
 foundation for abandonment and
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 of
left
Verb problem
being left
show examples
 behind
,
Punctuation problem
. Parents
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 may provide
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 scary feelings for their
children
Use synonyms
 by just going
Change preposition
to other
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
 country,
although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some
parents
Use synonyms
 still leave their
children
Use synonyms
 like that
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 its
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 remain
badly
Replace the word
bad
show examples
.

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organization
Plan your essay before writing. List 3 main ideas and a clear view.
content
State your view in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.
organization
Use one idea per paragraph and give a simple example for each.
language
Use simple word and clear sentences. Check spelling and grammar.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas (for example, 'also', 'however', 'therefore').
content
There is a real topic about families and moving abroad.
structure
You tried to give reasons why it can affect children.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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