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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In conclusion, although studying abroad offers valuable experiences and better educational opportunities, it also brings, challenges such as high costs and emotional difficulties. In my opinion, students should carefully consider that, their personal situation before deciding to study abroad.

In the past , most
students
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 preferred to complete their university education in their
country
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.
However
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, nowadays studying abroad has become more common
due to
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 globalisation and better educational opportunities.
This
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 development has both advantages and disadvantages. One of the significant advantages of studying abroad is
theexperince
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the experience
 of
Correct article usage
a
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new culture and education system.
Students
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 can improve their language skills, especially English, by using it in real-life situations.
This
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 experience
also
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 helps them become more independent and confident, as they must manage their daily life on their own.
In addition
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, foreign universities often offer higher-quality education, modern technology, international degree
which
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, which
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 can increase graduates’ chances of finding better jobs in the future.
On the other hand
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 ,
studing
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studying
 abroad
also
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 has several drawbacks. The most common disadvantage is the high cost. Tuition fees , accommodation and living expenses are much more than in their own
country
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 ,
On the other hand
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, studying abroad
also
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 has several drawbacks. The most common disadvantage is the high cost. Tuition fees, accommodation and living expenses are much more than in their own
country
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 , which can
financial
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put financial
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 pressure on
students
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 and their families. Another problem is that
,
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apply
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many
students
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 feel lonely and stressed because they are far away from their parents and friends, especially during the first semester.
Moreover
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, cultural differences sometimes
makes
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make
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 it difficult for
students
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 to adapt , which may negatively affect
on
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apply
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their academic performance. In conclusion, studying abroad provides valuable educational and personal benefits
,
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;
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 it
also
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 brings challenges ,
such
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 as high cost and emotional difficulties.
Therefore
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,
students
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 should consider both the advantages and disadvantages before deciding to study in another
country
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.

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task response
Add more detail to each point and give a small example to back it up. Also make your view clear in the end.
coherence cohesion
Make a smooth flow between ideas. Use simple linking words and keep one idea in each paragraph. Do not repeat the same phrase many times.
structure
The piece has a clear start, middle and end.
content
It talks about both good and bad sides of study abroad.
content
Some ideas fit well with the topic, like language use and life abroad.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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