IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The improved technology allows for rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is dangerous for the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, technology has become so
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 that people can find any
information
Use synonyms
 easily.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 feasibility of data is necessary in many
cases
Use synonyms
, it has increased fraud
cases
Use synonyms
 worldwide
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
this
Linking Words
advancement
Use synonyms
 harmful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is true
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I will put
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 arguments to support my opinion in the following paragraphs. Nowadays, with the rapid
transformaion
Correct your spelling
transformation
 of the world from
pen
Correct article usage
the pen
show examples
paper
Correct word choice
and paper
show examples
 era to
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
show examples
 era, many tasks can be done easily through
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
 is really a boon for today's life as it carries vast
information
Use synonyms
. folks can now pay bills, transfer money, upload photos, download materials and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
do many more things using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the threat of cybersecurity is the main concern. With the
advancement
Use synonyms
 of AI, many people are making fake videos using faces from social media.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
th
Correct your spelling
the
 cyber report of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 kind of blackmailing
cases
Use synonyms
 have
increaded
Correct your spelling
increased
 by 30% in the
last
Linking Words
 year. Many people
also
Linking Words
 believe that AI can listen
our
Change preposition
to our
show examples
 normal talks. On the same side, our bank accounts are easily accessible through bank applications.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 spite of setting enough privacy, hackers can attack and steal the account login
information
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, one viral
whatsapp
Use the right word
WhatsApp
show examples
 scam was in talks recently as hackers sent a picture to many
whatsapp
Use the right word
WhatsApp
show examples
 users with the note "Do you know him?"
.
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 With the one click of download by the users, hackers got each and every
information
Use synonyms
 of users' bank accounts
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
scam
Correct article usage
a scam
show examples
 of more than 25 million dollars. In a nutshell, with the
advancement
Use synonyms
 of technology, fear of data safety has increased. The burgeoning
cases
Use synonyms
 of cyber crimes have made
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 an unsafe place to share their details.
This
Linking Words
 threat is growing with the AI
advancement
Use synonyms
.

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task
Make your view clear at start and keep it. Say you agree or partly agree and stay with that view.
task
Give 2 or 3 strong reasons. Add one good example for each reason.
coherence
Break the text into clear parts. Use a start plan and a final end.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect, like also, but, however, so.
accuracy
Use simple, short words and check for grammar and spelling.
task
End with a clear last line that restates your view.
idea
The writer shows a view that technology can be harmful to society.
evidence
There are real examples used.
structure
There is an introduction and a closing paragraph.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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