IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that capital punishment is good for a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many opine that in case of heinous crimes death penalty should be given to convicts. I firmly agree with the above statement , as by giving capital punishment
authorities
Punctuation problem
, authorities
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 can
give
Verb problem
send
show examples
message
Correct article usage
a message
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 to people who are planning to commit criminal
acts
Use synonyms
. In recent times, there has been a spike in serious criminal
acts
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as manslaughter or homicide , which should be treated with
utmost
Correct article usage
the utmost
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 seriousness
of
Change preposition
by
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 the courts. There are many instances where
court
Correct article usage
the court
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 failed to prosecute the criminal
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of evidence , and the same person tries to commit dangerous offences again.
According to
Linking Words
 a recent survey by a law firm, there is a high probability that inmates can commit serious crimes again when they get out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jail. Most importantly general public should feel safe in their neighbourhood
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is only possible by creating a fear in
Correct article usage
the mind
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 of criminal mindsets that their
acts
Use synonyms
 will not be treated lightly at all by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
law enforcement.
Secondly
Linking Words
, humanity is struggling with the
cases
Use synonyms
 of women and child cruelty , which in many
cases
Use synonyms
 cause lifelong trauma to the victims.
Consequently
Linking Words
, in many
Use synonyms
cases
Add a comma
cases,
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 victims end their lives. In many
cases
Use synonyms
 ,
breadwinner
Correct article usage
the breadwinner
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 of the families is murdered , which causes a serious emotional and economic crisis in families which takes years to cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if
law
Correct article usage
the law
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 did its work well and delivered death sentences to offenders ,
this
Linking Words
 world would be a better place to live.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that people who commit heinous crimes should be given capital punishment at any cost, as others should know the consequences of these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of
acts
Use synonyms
 before doing them.

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task response
State your view clearly at the start and keep to one main idea per paragraph. Add one clear counter view and answer it.
coherence
Use simple link words to move ideas, and keep a simple order in each paragraph.
grammar
Fix big grammar errors. Use proper punctuation and short sentences.
content
Give more real examples or facts to back each point.
structure
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
task response
The writer shows a clear stance.
coherence
Paragraphs group ideas by theme.
content
The essay discusses real issues like safety and harm to families.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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