IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A number of individuals believe that competing at
work
Use synonyms
, at school, and in daily life is a good thing,
while
Linking Words
 some argue that cooperating with others is better than competing against each other. From my perspective, cooperating with others is more beneficial than competing, as
people
Use synonyms
 can be more organised and have better relationships with staff members and friends. On the one hand, competition at
work
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, in educational institutions, and in daily life can help individuals be more goal-oriented and focus on themselves.
This
Linking Words
 plays an important role in
people
Use synonyms
's lives because of the high competition in
companies
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as well as
Linking Words
 in schools, as several organisations hire
people
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 based on the skills they have gained in university or projects they have completed.
People
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 who are highly competitive or goal-oriented attract many large
companies
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 like Apple, Google, and Tesla.
For example
Linking Words
, many university students in the USA are more self-focused on their careers to land jobs in high-tech
companies
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, and compete with each other to improve themselves.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, cooperating with others can help them be more organised and have better relationships with friends and staff members at
work
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because doing tasks in schools or organisations can be difficult to do alone, but with the help of friends and office staff members, tasks can be made more organised, as they get to know different opinions that can be applied to make the tasks more systematic.
For example
Linking Words
, educational consulting
companies
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 need to coordinate with each other to learn about universities’ backgrounds, which can help the students who come to them for consulting. So, in my opinion, working together is more beneficial than competing with each other in every section, whether it may be at school or at
work
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. In conclusion, competing can help a person be more focused and goal-oriented, but helping each other in the workplace and at university can make individuals more organised and improve their communication skills, which is highly important in the modern world.

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task response
To raise the score for task response, add more strong links between ideas and give deeper proof. use more types of examples and explain how they support your view.
coherence
To boost flow, make each paragraph hold one main idea and use a clear opening sentence. Use simple linking words to tie ideas together.
task response
You state your view clearly and show you look at both sides.
coherence
There are real examples from life that fit your point.
coherence
You use sign words like On the one hand and On the other hand to show the link of ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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