IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more business as well as individuals are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than being face-to-face. What are the advantages and disadvantages to this.

It is becoming more preferable
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 individuals and businesses to communicate either professionally or socially via technology
instead
Linking Words
 of traditional face-to-face conversations.
This
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 essay will first suggest that reduced
time
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spendings
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 is the primary benefit of
this
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 tendency,
while
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 social degradation that can be caused by
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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excessive use of online
communication
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 is the main drawback.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 technologies give many opportunities to communicate with
people
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 using social
medias
Fix the agreement mistake
media
show examples
 or messengers, which could save a lot of
time
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. It is much
easy
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easier
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 for many
people
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 to put some information in one message, obviating any fear of missing some essential details,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 consumes much less
time
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 in
comparisom
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with face-to-face
communication
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.
Moreover
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, many socially awkward
people
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 are unable to introduce their ideas and
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 clearly in the speech format and require many
hourses
Correct your spelling
hours
 for formulation in order to make it understandable. Technologies provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comfortable opportunities for
communication
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, avoiding any fears associated with looking boring and unsociable.
For example
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, many current tech corporations actively
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
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 messengers for
interviews
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interview
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 conduction,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 requires less
time
Use synonyms
 and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
, and unsociable candidates
able
Verb problem
are able
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 to introduce themselves much easily.
However
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, excessive use of online
communication
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 over traditional
can
Check wording
forms can
show examples
cause
Verb problem
lead
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 to stagnation in social development. It is widely acknowledged that face-to-face
communication
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 plays
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
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 role in
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
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socialization
Change the spelling
socialisation
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, and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of real
communication
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 can make
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 socially awkward and unconfident.
For instance
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, recent research conducted by graduate students of Yale University showed that male adherents of online
communication
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 find it hard to communicate with women.
To sum up
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,
communication
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 using technologies
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 certain advantages associated with
time
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 saving and
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
 environment for unsociable
people
Use synonyms
.
However
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, over-use of
such
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 practices can
also
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 lead to
stagntion
Correct your spelling
stagnation
 in social development.

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task response
Plan your answer with two clear parts: the good points and the bad points. Give at least two ideas for each side and add a short example.
coherence
Make the flow easy. Use clear topic sentences and link words to show how ideas go together.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides of the topic.
structure
There is a clear start and a finish in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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