IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

All over the world , the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer, What problem does this cause? How can we oversome the problems of poverty.

In
this
Linking Words
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 there are all the
income
Use synonyms
 levels , some
cpuntries
Correct your spelling
countries
 and most of them
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 middle
income
Use synonyms
 is the highest.But
poverty
Use synonyms
are getting increased
Wrong verb form
is increasing
show examples
 in some areas
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the globe .In
this
Linking Words
assay
Use the right word
essay
show examples
, the discussion will be about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty
Use synonyms
 and the solutions for that. In the beginning, all over the world
rich
Punctuation problem
, rich
show examples
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 have lots of
advanatges
Correct your spelling
advantages
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they take lots of opportunities,
an
Use the right word
and
show examples
dthey ahve
Correct your spelling
they have
 the
government
Check wording
government's
show examples
 support in every project they do.So if they fail in some projects , that will not affect their wealth , because they will have other projects
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 funded by the family money will cover the loss .
Also
Linking Words
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 kids will have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 level of education , and will be
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
 by the government to study
abraod
Correct your spelling
abroad
 and
continuou
Correct your spelling
continue
 their family legacy in taking all the
high salary
Use the right word
high-salaried
show examples
 jobs .
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 it is like a rounded circle of wealth
no
Punctuation problem
; no
show examples
 one can get the benefit out of
this
Linking Words
 circle .
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
low
Use the right word
low-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 groups are struggling to get the right
education
Punctuation problem
education,
show examples
an
Use the right word
and
show examples
dthey
Correct your spelling
they
dint
Correct your spelling
didn't
 have
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 chance to study abroad or
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
high
Use the right word
high-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 jobs
,
Punctuation problem
. Also
show examples
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
also,
show examples
 the
chalnges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 they face are more in every single
steps
Fix the agreement mistake
step
show examples
 they take
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 the chances are low to get the same opportunities as the rich population and end the
poverty
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 do
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that if someone works
hard
Punctuation problem
hard,
show examples
 they will
diffintly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 get what they deserve , and increase
thier
Correct your spelling
their
income
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
finally
Fix capitalization
Finally
show examples
,
poverty
Use synonyms
 is hard to live with
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it makes life
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
 in slow steps with a lot of
struggel
Correct your spelling
struggle
, but education is the solution and working hard is important.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your essay before you write. Make a short plan with an intro, 2–3 main ideas, and a short ending.
structure
Keep one main idea per paragraph. Do not put many ideas in one paragraph.
content
Explain each point with a clear link to poverty and its fix. Show how your ideas connect.
language
Use simple grammar and short sentences. Check spellings and tense use.
content
Add examples or facts to back your points, even small ones.
content
The essay shows a wish to discuss causes of poverty and a fix.
content
The idea of education and chance for more may be in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: