IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Billions of dollars are being wasted on space research. The money used could be better if used to improving condition on people on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Technological advancements in the world are turning people’s attention to
research
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on
Change preposition
apply
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. One of the areas which is receiving a lot of attention and curiosity is the study of the universe.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 a lot of
money
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 has been spent on
space
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research
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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while
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 some support the idea of exploring
space
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 and
consequently
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 using billions of dollars in the study, others believe that the
money
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 can be used to improve people’s living conditions on
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explain the reasons why I disagree with the investments in spatial studies. One of the main reasons to disagree with the idea of spending
money
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 on
space
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research
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 is that our planet is
demanding
Verb problem
in need of
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changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the
money
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 wasted on those studies could be better used if applied in areas on earth
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 need it the most.
For example
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,
instead
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 of sending visitors to
space
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 to seek proof of extraterrestrial life, the funds used to send them could be applied in third-world countries to improve their living conditions.
Furthermore
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, the invested
money
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 can benefit and increase people’s education and provide a better quality of
lifestyle
Replace the word
life
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.
On the other hand
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, it is noteworthy to highlight the importance of providing funds to
space
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research
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 and
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
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 future issues from the universe
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as meteors.
However
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, governments and scientists should be aware
about
Change preposition
of
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 the long-term impacts of the provided
money
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. Where can society get more benefits from the invested
money
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: studies about
space
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 or in providing an exceptional education to a small country?
To conclude
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,
although
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 I believe that it is essential to focus on
space
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research
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, I argue that
money
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 should be invested in areas
such
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 as education and public
health
Punctuation problem
health,
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 where society can benefit the most.

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content
Make your view clear from the start and stay on one main idea in each paragraph.
structure
Give more clear reasons and real examples to back your claim.
language
Use simple, common words and check for word choice that might be hard for readers.
structure
End with a short restate of your main idea to finish well.
content
You state your view clearly and keep it through the essay.
structure
You show the essay form with intro and conclusion.
language
You use some linking words to show how ideas go together.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • billions of dollars
  • wasted
  • improving conditions
  • technological advancements
  • inspires
  • motivates
  • contributes
  • understanding of the universe
  • investment
  • indirect benefits
  • priority
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