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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show information about the annual profits, the final stock prices and the market share of five different video game companies in 2022.

The bar chart illustrates the estimated annual
revenue
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 of leading gaming
companies
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 worldwide in
2022
Punctuation problem
2022,
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 measured in billions of US
dollars
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. Sony made approximately 28.2
billion
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dollars
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, which was nearly double the
revenue
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 of Microsoft, whose figure stood at around 16.2
billion
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. Tencent and Nintendo followed closely behind, each earning just under 14
billion
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dollars
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, meaning their revenues were roughly half of Sony’s total.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the remaining
companies
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 reported significantly lower figures. Activision Blizzard and Electronic Arts earned 7.4
and
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billion and
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 7
billion
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respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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, which was approximately half the
revenue
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 of Tencent and Nintendo. Epic Games generated 5.8
billion
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,
while
Linking Words
 Take-Two Interactive, Bandai Namco and Ubisoft earned even less, with all three
companies
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 recording below 4
billion
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dollars
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apply
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in annual
revenue
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, Sony was by far the most profitable company, earning almost twice as much as its closest competitors,
while
Linking Words
 Ubisoft recorded the lowest
revenue
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 among the
companies
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 shown.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words revenue, companies, dollars, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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