IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe teachers should have the final say about children’s education, while others believe parents should make these decisions. Discuss both sides.

Many people think that
teachers
Use synonyms
 should have played the leading part in the
kids
Use synonyms
'
education
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, some people argue that
parents
Use synonyms
 should be responsible for
children
Use synonyms
's
education
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting a balanced view. On the one hand,
teachers
Use synonyms
 are professionally trained and have extensive experience in dealing with
kids
Use synonyms
' academic development. They understand learning theories, teaching strategies, and curriculum requirements, which enables them to make informed decisions about teaching methods, assessment, and academic progression.
In addition
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
 observe
children
Use synonyms
's Strengths and weaknesses that
parents
Use synonyms
 may not have noticed at home. 
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 may know their
kids
Use synonyms
 better on a personal level and are deeply involved in their emotional and social development. They are more aware of their
kids
Use synonyms
' interests, hobbies and learning difficulties.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 are responsible for their
children
Use synonyms
's values and long-term goals, so they may prefer to decide on matters
such
Linking Words
 as school selection, extracurricular activities, or special educational support. In my opinion, cooperation between
parents
Use synonyms
 and school faculty is a must, where
teachers
Use synonyms
 provide professional guidance , and
parents
Use synonyms
 contribute personal knowledge about their
children
Use synonyms
. Which collaboration between
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
parents
Use synonyms
 can lead to well-informed decisions on both sides
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In conclusion, neither
parents
Use synonyms
 nor
teachers
Use synonyms
 can make the best decisions in
children
Use synonyms
's
education
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
teachers
Use synonyms
 possess the expertise to guide educational matters,
parents
Use synonyms
 play a crucial role in understanding their
children
Use synonyms
’s individual needs. Collaboration between
parents
Use synonyms
 and faculty is the most positive solution for
children
Use synonyms
's
education
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

organization
Plan your essay with a clear start, middle, and end. Use short, simple lines.
grammar
Fix grammar and form. Use the right tense and avoid fragments. For example, replace 'Which collaboration...' with 'This collaboration...'.
style
Keep to simple words and short sentences. Break long ideas into two sentences.
content
Add one or two small examples to show why teachers or parents may decide.
content
The writing discusses both sides and gives a view at the end.
structure
There is a clear intro and a closing paragraph.
coherence
The essay uses the 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' structure to show views.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • final say
  • teachers
  • parents
  • education
  • decide
  • decide together
  • discuss
  • listen
  • respect
  • school
  • home
  • child
  • children
  • learning
  • plan
  • lesson
  • progress
  • routine
  • discipline
  • values
  • culture
  • balance
  • collaboration
  • decision-making
  • evidence
  • example
  • policy
  • role
  • voice
  • opinion
  • outcome
  • support
  • guidance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: