Some people believe that tecehnological advancements lead to a loss of privacy.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that the advancement of
technology
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upgraded
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has upgraded
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the quality of life.
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While it
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It
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is a commonly held belief that technological evolution may threaten the
privacy
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of some
people
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.There is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion,
i
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I
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consider that
technology
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may lose
privacy
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if we do not use it consciously.
To begin
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with, technological evolution has changed
people
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's direction.
In other words
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, it is not only used to the
technology
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for education
but
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, but
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also
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, it can be used for connection,entertainment , and to influence.
In addition
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, some adults and teenagers allocate some social media apps to contact their friends and family.
For example
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,several of the international student who goes overseas to continue their degrees use many tools
such
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as WhatsApp and Snapchat to send messages and make calls with their family. Another point to consider, the unconscious way
to use
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of using
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the
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apply
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technological advancements could lead us to dangerous circumstances. It is
also
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possible to say that saving your personal information in one or multiple technological devices will not only threaten your safety but
also
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,
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apply
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it will make your
privacy
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.
Moreover
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, sharing very privet information on a device using an advanced
technology
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tool
such
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as a Mobile Phone, Instagram
it
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apply
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may lead to a professional hacker properly copying the data and using it against the person for the hacker's ulterior motive.
For example
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, taking a photo for the VISA card may be a grave danger. In conclusion, despite
people
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having different views, I believe that using
the
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apply
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modern
technology
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tools could lead some
people
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losing
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to lose
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privacy
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.

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grammar
Improve grammar and spelling. Many sentences have errors that make meaning hard to grasp.
structure
Make a clear plan before writing. Use a topic sentence for each paragraph that states what you will say.
content
State your view clearly in the introduction and keep a single line about your stance throughout the essay.
lexis
Use simple words and short, clear sentences. Avoid long phrases that are hard to read.
editing
Check punctuation and capitalization (I, comma use, spaces).
content
You take a clear view that technology can threaten privacy.
cohesion
You use linking words to show how ideas connect.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • privacy
  • surveillance
  • data sharing
  • encryption
  • digital literacy
  • facial recognition
  • CCTV
  • public spaces
  • security measures
  • information accessibility
  • digital footprint
  • individual responsibility
  • informed choices
  • data protection
  • Internet of Things (IoT)
  • cloud computing
  • cybersecurity
  • potential risks
  • balance of security and privacy
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