IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some contries have introduced laws to limit working hours for emplyoees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development

Several countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. For some countries, many
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 choose to work hard to achieve their dream
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 many
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not
realized
Verb problem
realise
show examples
 that sometimes
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 not good for their
psyhcis
Correct your spelling
psyche
, mental, or their family
it-self
Use the right word
itself
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 decided to limit working hours in their country. Many positive
Use synonyms
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 that will country and workers
get
Verb problem
will get
show examples
. First of all, for several employees, 9 to 5 in a day, and
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 had to continue their work
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 home, they don’t have
time
Use synonyms
 to use for personal
life
Use synonyms
. Because of
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 not rarely people get
stress
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 and
doesn’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
don’t
show examples
 have good stamina and
impact
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their assignment.
However
Linking Words
, there are still
a
Correct article usage
some
show examples
 kind
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
get
Verb problem
that have drawn
show examples
 attention
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that and decided to limit working hours. Not only because ‘the person’ but one person can
impact
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many workers.
For example
Linking Words
:
Use synonyms
Worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 get bored
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 because
Change preposition
of repetition
show examples
repetition
Replace the word
repetitive
show examples
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
, and they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
stress
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 their
family get
Wrong verb form
families are also
show examples
Use synonyms
impact
Replace the word
impacted
show examples
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, because of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 rules, they have more spare
time
Use synonyms
 to try new
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
, spend
time
Use synonyms
 with people they love, learn something new to get
more healthy
Correct word choice
healthier
show examples
 and
good
Verb problem
gain good
show examples
 knowledge. Many advantages for workers because of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 laws.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
worker
Use synonyms
 can get more spare
time
Use synonyms
 to do everything they want,
such
Linking Words
 as; go to the gym, get more healthy body, have quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their family, and get more a good
life
Use synonyms
 and deadlines from their job
also
Linking Words
 can get maximumly. In conclusion, many
positives
Fix the agreement mistake
positive impacts
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 laws.
Worker
Use synonyms
 still need their
time
Use synonyms
 for their own
life
Use synonyms
 and family. Sometimes repetition
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can make us get
stress
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
.

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structure
Plan with a clear start, body and end. Use one idea per paragraph.
task response
State your view in a simple opener and keep it through the essay.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to show main ideas.
grammar
Check grammar, make nouns and verbs match, and fix spelling.
lexical
Use small and common words; avoid long and hard phrases.
content
The topic is clear and you note that long work may harm health and family life.
content
You give a real example, like 9 to 5 work, to show life at work.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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