: Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward student who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Rewarding students, who are academic achievers, is reasonable
beacuse
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because
it means that they try hard to become good at these things.
However
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, those who are not
porminent
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prominent
in
this
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field
does
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do
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not mean that they don'
t
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try. We should
normalize
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normalise
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giving
attentions
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attention
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to
kids
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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show
progresses
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progress
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. Their results in academic
does
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results do
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not determine how attentive they are
,
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;
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some
kids
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are born with the ability to perceive things
faster
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faster,
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while
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others have to spend much more
times
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time
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to understand. As a fast learner, not much time is required for me to process
informations
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information
compared to other people I know
even
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, even
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if they try harder, so understanding every
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kids
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kid's
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background, their perspectives should be more crucial for schools.
By giving
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Giving
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kids
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rewards even though they don'
t
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do
good
Rephrase
well
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in school can actually invigorate them to be more eager.
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Kids
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Kids'
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feelings are usually based on how they are being treated
if
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. If
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there is
a
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apply
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discrimination
children
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, children
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would feel left out, and feel like they don'
t
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try
heard
Use the right word
hard
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enough
they
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. They
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might just push themselves too much
,
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.
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In the worst
case
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case,
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this
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can lead to depression. To
summarize
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summarise
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,
school
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schools
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should pay
attentions
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attention
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to all of their students since each of the
kids
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has different personalities, and try to get to know them better, so that they don'
t
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feel like they are alone in
this
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world.

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task response
Be clear on your view from the start and keep it clear in each part.
content
Give one or two clear reasons for your view and back them with short examples.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, but, so, then to lower jump in ideas.
structure
Make each paragraph about one idea. Use a short sentence to finish each paragraph.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar. Short words help readers go slow less mistakes.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides and gives a view.
structure
There is a clear ending that shows the view.
coherence
Some links and words show a flow of ideas at times.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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