IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Nowadays, multiple individuals are leaving their nations and moving to other
countries
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instead
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 to have better jobs and lives. In
this
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 essay, I will argue the causes behind
this
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 trend and illustrate
if
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whether
show examples
 the benefits
outwiegh
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outweigh
 the drawbacks. On the one hand, there are many people who go to other
countries
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due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
many
Correct word choice
various
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 reasons and advantages. One major reason is the level of enhanced life that they find outside their home country,
countries
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 that are
conisdred
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considered
 first world
countries
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as Iceland, Norway and
Canada
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Canada,
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 offer better chances of job applications, increased salaries and improved education, which
resault
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results
 in people moving to these parts of the world.
Also
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, some individuals are moving to other places to expand their
bussiness
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business
 and make it global.
In addition
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 to that, some individuals move to new nations to explore and
disover
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discover
 new cultures, heritages and learn new
langauages
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languages
.
On the other hand
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,
although
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this
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 trend can present various benefits, it
also
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 has some
disadvanatges
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disadvantages
 to it.
For example
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, moving to a new country without family means not being able to see your
realtives
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relatives
 and parents for a long time and missing them.
Moreover
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, it can be hard to build friendships and a new community
which
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, which
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 can be hard for introverts and sometimes may lead to
strees
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stress
 and
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
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 in their confidence.
To conclude
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,
while
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this
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 change of lifestyle may have some drawbacks to it, I believe that
advantages
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the advantages
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 outweigh the disadvantages since moving to new
countries
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 can help people have a good life and become more open-minded and aware of new cultures.

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spelling
Spelling and word form need work. You make many errors that hide meaning.
coherence
Link ideas with simple, clear words. Use 'first', 'also', 'but', 'in addition', 'however' to connect.
structure
Keep ideas to one main point per paragraph and use short sentences when possible.
grammar
Check grammar and grammar rules, e.g., 'outweigh' not 'outwiegh', 'languages' plural, 'relative' vs 'realtives'.
content
Give a bit more detail or examples to back up each point.
structure
There is a clear view in the introduction and conclusion.
content
You name places to show you know the topic.
structure
The essay has an organized layout with sections.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migrant
  • Brain drain
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Remittances
  • Expatriate
  • Diaspora
  • Transnational
  • Host country
  • Country of origin
  • Push and pull factors
  • Standard of living
  • Political asylum
  • Cross-cultural
  • Migrant workforce
  • Integration policy
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