IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Should protecting environment be the government's responsibility rather than individuals?

Some people believe that protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
 should be primarily the
government
Use synonyms
’s responsibility rather than individuals. I fully agree with
this
Linking Words
. On the one hand, the
government
Use synonyms
 has huge resources and power that can regulate the
environment
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 has
leadership
Correct article usage
the leadership
show examples
 and authority to make laws
such
Linking Words
 as limiting plastic products and
also
Linking Words
 promoting renewable energy. The
government
Use synonyms
 has huge financial resources to invest in projects
such
Linking Words
 as reforestation and forcing people to use clean public transportation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 can influence people through education and taxation. They can offer tax reductions for eco-friendly businesses and
also
Linking Words
 reward households that contribute to the recycling process.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, individuals should
also
Linking Words
 help to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as using public transport rather than private cars and using renewable energy like solar panels or rainwater. The
government
Use synonyms
 cannot achieve its goals if society does not follow it. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 everybody should be responsible for protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
, the
government
Use synonyms
 has a huge role, responsibility, and power to regulate laws that help reduce harm and protect the
environment
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Be clear in the intro about your view and keep it in the rest of the essay. Try to give one strong idea per paragraph and connect them with simple links.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main point and a short example. Start with a short line that tells the main idea and use simple words to join thoughts.
advancement
Add more real facts about what the government can do, in plain words, like taxes or rules, with simple examples.
strength
The essay shows a clear view on the topic.
strength
The essay uses linking words to connect ideas.
strength
The essay talks about both sides and ends with a clear end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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