IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think medical knowledge is the most important skills that nurses should have. others believe there are other more imortant qualities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a group of people who argue that nurses should only need the medical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 to take care of
patients
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
otherwise
Linking Words
, it can harm someone's life. But others believe that there are other
skills
Use synonyms
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as compensation, empathy and
time
Use synonyms
 management are equally significant , as these
skills
Use synonyms
 not only help them to handle multiple
patients
Use synonyms
 simultaneously but
also
Linking Words
 support
patients
Use synonyms
 in critical care. I believe both
skills
Use synonyms
 are equally important in
this
Linking Words
 sector. Nursing practice is a skilled job and directly linked to a person's life and safety.
Thus
Linking Words
, it becomes necessary to have proper medical
knowledge
Use synonyms
. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 a small mistake
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of
knowledge
Use synonyms
 could be life-threatening and can be harmful to someone.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is mandatory for all nursing graduates to clear the entrance exam before practising nursing.
For example
Linking Words
, there was an incident in my hometown in 2020, when an unqualified nursing staff member injected a high dosage drug into his intravenous glucose solution , and the
patient
Use synonyms
 died.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 tragedy state government put a permanent ban on hiring unqualified staff to hospitals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are other
skills
Use synonyms
 too that play a crucial role in treating, caring, and supporting
patients
Use synonyms
.Like
time
Use synonyms
 management , because all nurses handle a number of
patients
Use synonyms
 simultaneously.
Hence
Linking Words
, it becomes mandatory for them to have a proper schedule and the
time
Use synonyms
 table related to
patient
Use synonyms
 dose timing so they can provide the medicine on
time
Use synonyms
 without missing any
patient
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, all nurses have an online healthcare system which allows them to track drug information of all
patients
Use synonyms
 under their supervision. If
shifting
Wrong verb form
a shift
show examples
 is changing among two staff,
then
Linking Words
 it's required to update all information regarding the given and pending doses to any
patient
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, empathy and compassion allow them to understand
patient
Use synonyms
 emotions and share the feelings of
patients
Use synonyms
 and their families to build trust.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 practical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is a primary requirement to be a nurse but qualities like empathy help to be the best in your field.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Start with a clear view. Say what you will do at the end in one line.
task response
Give more strong ideas and explain them. Use one good example each time.
coherence
Link ideas with small words like and, but, also to help flow.
grammar
Fix grammar and spell check main words to keep easy read.
structure
Keep to one idea per sentence, avoid long mix of ideas in one sentence.
accuracy
Be careful with facts or numbers; check use of words like compensation that may be wrong.
content
Your view on both sides is clear.
example
You give a real example.
structure
Conclusion restates your view.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: