Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Prevent
Wrong verb form
Preventing
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crime
depend
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depends
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on several factors of the community
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such
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, such
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as rules and regulations,
actions
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, policies
..
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,
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etc. Some
people
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think
actions
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do not help to prevent crime among the residents. I firmly believe more
actions
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can be taken to prevent crimes.  As a
begining
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beginning
point,
actions
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always have reactions. Especially,
people
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should have
self descipline
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self-discipline
to control their anger and reactions. Putting more
actions
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with strict policies helps to control
community
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the community
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by
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apply
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physically and mentally.
According to
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the research that has conducted by Nizko
univesity
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University
has
found
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been found
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actions
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that actions
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help to
identified
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identify
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prisoners' emotional thoughts and
behaviors
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behaviours
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. As an opposite point, some
resident
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residents
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believe
more
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that more
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restrictions could
be damaged
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damage
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to
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apply
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the freedom of
people
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,
then
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it vulnerable to
create
Verb problem
an increase
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more
crimes
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crime
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. As an example, raising a kid with more rules and regulations
loose
Verb problem
loses
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their mental freedom.
Then
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as
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, as
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a
result
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result,
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it
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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to create a less sensitive person
into
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
However
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,
according to
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my idea, I believe more
actions
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with
foundational
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a foundational
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background help to create
a
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apply
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responsible
human
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humans
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into
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
As
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In
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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conclusion,
people
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should have
brainstorm
Replace the word
brainstorming
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strategies to apply those
actions
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to prevent crimes nowadays.

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structure
Add a clear plan. Start with a short intro that restates the task. Then give two blocks of ideas for each side and finish with a clear view.
cohesion
Use simple links to show how ideas go together. Use words like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however', 'in addition'.
structure
Keep your points easy to follow. Make one main idea per paragraph with a clear first sentence.
grammar
Be precise with facts. Do not use wrong spell or made up facts. Check name of places and spellings.
content
You state your view clearly and give some ideas on how actions can help.
structure
There are some attempts to discuss both sides, and you end with a closing line.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Crime prevention
  • Law enforcement
  • Surveillance
  • Deterrence
  • Social services
  • Root causes
  • Community-based programs
  • Rehabilitation
  • Repeat offenses
  • Inevitable
  • Crime statistics
  • Governmental power
  • Systemic issues
  • Corruption
  • Technology
  • Data analysis
  • Artificial intelligence
  • Predict and prevent
  • Privacy concerns
  • Ethical issues
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