IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People in many countries do not wear their traditional costume. Some argue that they would forget their history and tradition. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been argued that many citizens in different parts of the world are not wearing traditional
attire
Punctuation problem
attire,
show examples
 as it might lead to
people
Use synonyms
 forgetting their past history.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with the narrative because clothes act as a reminder to illustrate evolution
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they are
also
Linking Words
 affordable. The primary reason why different
people
Use synonyms
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 the
elderly
Punctuation problem
elderly,
show examples
 are still wearing the garments which they used to wear in their early years is
because
Change preposition
that
show examples
 they give them
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of belonging. Something
that is
Linking Words
 worn or that can be physically touched can remind
of
Correct pronoun usage
one of
show examples
 what happened in the past.
Also
Linking Words
, some were made by the use of
animals'
Fix the agreement mistake
animal'
show examples
skin
Punctuation problem
skin,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 gave them
unique
Correct article usage
a unique
show examples
 touch and a sense of belonging.
For example
Linking Words
, the Agikuyu community in Kenya had a rule that every first Saturday of every month, all age
grouos
Correct your spelling
groups
 wore
otfit
Correct your spelling
outfits
 made up of either sheep or a cow to celebrate their traditions.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 acted as a way of reminding them where they came from. The second reason is
because
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the clothes are affordable compared to the designer wear sold in the market nowadays. The lowest cost of one outfit is 2 pounds
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
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 a traditional attire can be made using available resources and given free or used for barter trade to different communities.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, it is easy
getting
Wrong verb form
to get
show examples
 the
cloths
Use the right word
clothes
show examples
 to everyone in the family.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Mbeere
people
Use synonyms
 in Uganda
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 traditional textiles which are exchanged
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 perishable goods
such
Linking Words
 as tomatoes to Kenyans.
This
Linking Words
 enhances
affordability
Correct article usage
the affordability
show examples
 of the
cloths
Use the right word
clothes
show examples
. In conclusion, the more
people
Use synonyms
 wear traditional
attrires
Correct your spelling
attire
, the more they become cheerful as they are able to embrace their culture and heritage.

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task response
Give more deep plan and keep each idea clear in one paragraph.
task response
Use true and clear examples; fix wrong facts.
coherence
Use linking words to move from one idea to the next.
coherence
Have a short plan at start and a brief wrap up at end.
language
Check spell and small grammar errors to be easy to read.
content
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
structure
There is a plan in the essay with separate ideas.
content
There are examples used to back points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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