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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that now we cans see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 agree that now we can watch
films
Use synonyms
 on our phones and
tablets
Punctuation problem
tablets,
show examples
 there is no need to go to the cinema.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that to be fully enjoyed,
films
Use synonyms
 need to be seen in
cinema
Correct article usage
a cinema
show examples
. On the one hand, nowadays, it is easier to access
films
Use synonyms
 on phones or tablets at home because of streaming platforms
such
Linking Words
 as Netflix, Disney, and HBO. The subscription fees for these platforms are not a heavy burden for most
people
Use synonyms
. Take Netflix as an example: the premium membership costs around 400 TWD per month, and
this
Linking Words
 plan can be shared by up to four
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, subscribers can watch a wide range of
movies
Use synonyms
 and TV series at a cost of less than 100 TWD per person, which is affordable for most users.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these platforms not only provide local
films
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 offer
movies
Use synonyms
 from around the world.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can enjoy a large variety of
films
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 spending less money.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that cinemas offer well-structured sound systems and comfortable seating, which give audiences a better viewing experience
while
Linking Words
 watching
movies
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 watch action
films
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Mission
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 Impossible, Avengers, or Iron Man, they can enjoy a more immersive experience because of special effects like 4DX.
As a result
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 do not mind paying extra fees to watch
movies
Use synonyms
 in cinemas. In conclusion, I believe that we can
cost
Verb problem
save
show examples
 less and enjoy the movie in our house, but if we want to experience
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
well-structured facilities and comfortable
seatiing
Correct your spelling
seating
 that we need to
do
Use the right word
go
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the cinema.

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structure
Add a clear plan in the intro. State both views and your own stance.
structure
Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph. Start with a main idea.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, however, in addition.
development
Give more detail for each point. Use 1-2 examples with facts.
content
Two clear views are shown and your own view is in the end.
examples
Specific examples such as Netflix price and 4DX are used.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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