IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart illustrates the
countries
Use synonyms
 of birth of
people
Use synonyms
 living in Australia,
while
Linking Words
 the table compares where individuals from these
countries
Use synonyms
 reside, either in cities or rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of Australia’s population was born in Australia itself.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 from all
countries
Use synonyms
 shown were more likely to live in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 than in rural locations. In terms of country of birth, Australian-born residents accounted for the largest proportion, at 73% of the population.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by
people
Use synonyms
 born in other, unspecified
countries
Use synonyms
, who made up 14%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the UK represented 7%,
while
Linking Words
 New Zealand, China and the Netherlands contributed relatively small shares, at 3%, 2% and 1% respectively. Regarding place of residence, urban living was dominant across all groups. Chinese-born residents showed the strongest preference for city life, with 99% living in urban
areas
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, high proportions of
people
Use synonyms
 from the Netherlands and the UK lived in cities, at 90% and 89% respectively.
Although
Linking Words
 most New Zealanders
also
Linking Words
 resided in urban
areas
Use synonyms
, they had the highest proportion of rural residents, at 20%, compared with the other groups.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, people, areas with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: