IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With a growing world population one of the most pressing issues is that of feeding such a large number of people. Some people think that GM foods offer a viable solution to this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, overpopulation has put an immense burden on
food
Use synonyms
 supplies, which is making it difficult for the government to provide
food
Use synonyms
 to every citizen. The majority of
people
Use synonyms
 think that genetically modified
food
Use synonyms
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
 a solution to
this
Linking Words
 challenge.
Although
Linking Words
GM
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 helps to increase yields, I contend that it is detrimental to human health. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
one
Use synonyms
 of
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 benefits of GMOs is that they enable farmers to harvest more
crops
Use synonyms
 per hectare.
GM
Use synonyms
crops
Use synonyms
 are
enginnered
Correct your spelling
engineered
 to resist diseases and insects, which means they are less likely to suffer damage during the growing season.
Consequently
Linking Words
, farmers
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 less crop, resulting in higher yields.
For example
Linking Words
, BT
cotten
Correct your spelling
cotton
 is genetically modified to resist bollworms, which are a major pest. Famers who grow BT cotton experience less crop damage and are able to produce more. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
GM
Use synonyms
crops
Use synonyms
 are constructive.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that
GM
Use synonyms
crops
Use synonyms
 are not beneficial to
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 body because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 may trigger allergic reactions. Genes from
one
Use synonyms
ogranism
Correct your spelling
organism
 are sometimes inserted into another
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 which result new
protins
Correct your spelling
proteins
 are created. These can be considered harmful for sensitive
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 a gene from nuts is added to a
soyabean
Correct your spelling
soybean
,
people
Use synonyms
 with nut allergies may experience some adverse reactions. They
Verb problem
are ofen
show examples
ofen
Correct your spelling
often
 unaware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the new
protins
Correct your spelling
protein's
 consequences and unintentionally consume them, increasing the risk of health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though
GM
Use synonyms
crops
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
incresed
Correct your spelling
increase
 yields as they are
resist
Replace the word
resistant
show examples
 to pests and insects, which is the main benefit of
this
Linking Words
 strategy, I contemplate that these
crops
Use synonyms
 can deteriorate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's health,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 of the main drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 trend.

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task response
The answer shows a clear view that GM food may be debated, but more main ideas and stronger support are needed. Add two or three clear points and a short closing line.
coherence and cohesion
Make ideas flow better. Use linking words like 'also', 'however', 'but', 'in addition' to connect sentences and keep paragraphs on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Check spelling and grammar. Fix common mistakes so words like 'organism', 'proteins', 'beans', 'produce' are correct and easier to read.
tone
The writer states a clear position against GM foods.
content
There are examples given about GM crops such as BT cotton to support the point.
structure
There is a simple structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
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