IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that boys and girls should attend school together. Others feel that they should be educated separately. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some would argue that both
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 should attend school with each other,
while
Linking Words
 others say that they should be educated alone.
Although
Linking Words
 providing an environment for students to study in
schools
Use synonyms
 with the same gender as them will make them focused on their education, I think that it is best for them to be able to study with other genders so they can develop their social communication. On the one hand,
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 who attend
schools
Use synonyms
 separately will put all their focus on education to improve their grades rather than play around with each
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
 of that, they will have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 GPA that would help them to join the best universities all around the world.
For example
Linking Words
, a 2009 study at King Abdulaziz University recently concluded that 19% of students noticed a higher score in their grades
as a result
Linking Words
 of studying with only
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 gender as them. From my point of view,
this
Linking Words
 can be helpful for their career in the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, parents who take their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 to
a mix
Wrong verb form
mixed
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 that include both genders
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 noticed that it helped them to improve their communication with each other.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it will affect their social skills in the future
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 that would without any
doublt
Correct your spelling
doubt
 help them in all life
aspacts
Correct your spelling
aspects
.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the New York City Times recently reported that over half of people who have
went
Wrong verb form
gone
show examples
 to
schools
Use synonyms
 that educate
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 together have shown development in their social communication over the years. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because having these skills is a must nowadays. In conclusion, some say that students from both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
 should go to school together, meanwhile, others believe that they should learn
separatly
Correct your spelling
separately
. I completely stand with the statement that encourages parents to sign their children in
schools
Use synonyms
 that have
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 studying together in order for them to improve social skills.

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language
Work on grammar and spelling to make your meaning clear.
structure
Plan your essay with a clear map: intro, two body parts, conclusion.
content
Give real or clear examples and avoid made up facts.
coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
content
You discuss both sides of the topic.
structure
You state your own view in the end.
language
There is some attempt to link sentences and ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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