Some people believe money is the best gift for the teenagers while others disagree. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people consider
money
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the best present for youngsters , but others argue with
this
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viewpoint. Giving
money
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as a
gift
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to young ones could teach them
money
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management and make them more independent. But I think having some
cash
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in hand without any hard work can spoil them. On the one hand, youngsters can learn many skills related to
money
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when they receive it as a
gift
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, like
cash
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management, saving, and careful spending. which is more likely to help them when they grow up. Because when a person knows how to manage, invest, and save earnings, they can achieve success faster.
Moreover
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, having a limited amount of
money
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in pocket can teach how to avoid unnecessary spending.
For example
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, during my childhood, whenever I got
money
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as an offering from my relatives, I collected it in my piggy bank and used it when I wanted to buy a toy. In
this
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way, it made me independent , and the lessons I learned since
then
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have proved to be useful till now.
On the other hand
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, giving
money
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to teenagers as a
gift
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could possibly spoil them. Because
cash
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money
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in the hands of young people can distract them and lead them into bad habits. Indeed, youth are highly influenced by their peer groups , and they can utilise the
money
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given to buy drugs.
For instance
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, most of the young boys in India spend the
money
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received from their elders to buy beer and other prohibited substances.
Additionally
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, it is less likely to expact from a young person to use a monetary
gift
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for useful things ; they mostly buy video games and tech devices , which distract them from studying. In conclusion, despite having some advantages of a
cash
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gift
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, I believe that it can provide harm to youngsters by allowing them to buy illegal substances , which can hinder their development.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve how sentences link thoughts so one idea flows to the next.
grammar
Work on grammar and spelling to avoid mistakes.
content
Give more clear examples that stay on the point.
organization
Make each paragraph have one main idea.
content
Avoid hard claims about places; keep ideas simple and true.
structure
Finish with a strong, clear conclusion that restates your view.
content
Clear view of both sides is shown.
structure
Uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show contrast.
content
Examples from life show how money can teach saving.
structure
Conclusion states own view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • budget
  • save
  • informed spending decisions
  • personal preferences
  • practical and efficient
  • unwanted or inappropriate gifts
  • impersonal
  • emotional value
  • thoughtfulness
  • personal consideration
  • wise financial decisions
  • frivolously
  • lasting memories and experiences
  • educational courses
  • hobby-related equipment
  • long-lasting positive impact
  • fostering interests and skills
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