IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The picture below shows the use of renewable energy accounting the total energy from 1971 to 2006.

The graph compares six
various
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
regions
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 which how much of the total
energy
Use synonyms
 comes from renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 sources between 1972 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Finland
Use synonyms
 emerged as the highest share of the
energy
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the United Kingdom remained the lowest among all countries throughout the period. More countries,
moreover
Linking Words
, showed the upward trend albeit at various patterns, with the exception of
Finland
Use synonyms
.
Finland
Use synonyms
 and Denmark experienced relatively modest changes. The percentage of
Finland
Use synonyms
's
energy
Use synonyms
 fluctuated noticeably between 1971 and 1986, but despite these declines, it bounced back
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 almost its previous peak , accounting for about 23% in 2011. As for Denmark,
declined
Correct pronoun usage
it declined
show examples
 from 15% in 1971 to about 12.5% in 1976. After
further
Linking Words
 variation, it
then
Linking Words
 rose steadily from 1996 onwards, finishing at around 17%. The remaining categories,
by comparison
Linking Words
, saw more substantial shifts. France and Germany ,
for example
Linking Words
, increased from 8% and 5% to approximately 15% and 17%, respectively. There was a dramatic growth in the proportion of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 used in the United States, rising from 3% in the beginning to nearly 18% in 2011.
Although
Linking Words
 the UK had the lowest levels of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 , accounting for 1% in 1976 and roughly 6%
at the end
Linking Words

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Give a clear start and end. Start with a short view of the chart and finish with a short wrap up.
content
Be careful with dates and numbers. Make sure the facts you give are in the right year and match the chart.
coherence
Link ideas well. Use simple links like 'first', 'next', 'but', 'however' to show changes over time.
content
The essay names all regions and notes more growth in some areas.
data
Some real figures are used to show change.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: