In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweiht the disadvantages?

this

Linking Words

era,

Use synonyms

people

Check wording

apply

show examples

owning

mobile

Correct article usage

a mobile

show examples

Use synonyms

phones

Fix the agreement mistake

phone

show examples

extremely

Correct article usage

an extremely

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

common idea.

However

Linking Words

, there are more advantages than disadvantages if an individual owns a smartphone.

This

Linking Words

essay will describe the notion in the paragraphs below with relevant

evidences

Fix the agreement mistake

evidence

show examples

. To commence with, connecting with

people

Use synonyms

has become extremely easy via

this

Linking Words

ubiquitous device.

Moreover

Linking Words

, sharing daily life activities, memories, news regarding happiness and sorrow through mobile

phones

Use synonyms

is one of the important features of

this

Linking Words

gadget.

For instance

Linking Words

, individuals nowadays, moving

abroad

Punctuation problem

abroad,

show examples

need connectivity, which cellphones

provides

Correct subject-verb agreement

provide

show examples

, and

the

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

loved ones feel living nearby, even if they are across borders.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is one of the advantages of

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

to it, virtual meetings in offices and online sessions for studies in educational institutions require a device, which helps in providing a channel between employee and

employer

Punctuation problem

employer,

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

students and teachers. So, mobile

phones

Use synonyms

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

this

Linking Words

feature to download multiple options for

this

Linking Words

service.

Additionally

Linking Words

, not only does it provide business to the organisations

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

also

Linking Words

online classes to the students.

For example

Linking Words

, during

Covid 19

Check wording

COVID-19

show examples

, mobiles

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been used for Zoom meetings by multiple companies, and the schools were

also

Linking Words

providing classes via

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

using cell

phones

Use synonyms

to their students, because of

Correct article usage

the quarintine

show examples

quarintine

Correct your spelling

quarantine

period

worlwide

Correct your spelling

worldwide

Therefore

Linking Words

, the above example vividly explains the merit of

this

Linking Words

gadget.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, society has become extremely dependent on

smart

Use the right word

smartphones

show examples

phones

Use synonyms

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

idea of physical

get together

Correct your spelling

get-togethers

has been lost in

this

Linking Words

technological development.

In other words

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

avoid inviting someone at home during their off time too, because of the conversation they can have via mobile

phones

Use synonyms

now-a-days

Use the right word

nowadays

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, in past years,

people

Use synonyms

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

to make plans for house parties to

spaend

Correct your spelling

spend

some leisure time with their close friends.

However

Linking Words

, it is not the case now. The

less

Fix the agreement mistake

fewer

show examples

the meetings, the

lesser

Correct word choice

less

show examples

the bond between humans.

As a result

Linking Words

, human touch has been lost

due to

Linking Words

these gadgets

too

Punctuation problem

, too

show examples

. So,

this

Linking Words

is one of the drawbacks of keeping cell

phones

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there is a demerit of keeping

mobile

Correct article usage

a mobile

show examples

phone,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it has more advantages

also

Linking Words

, like

worlwide

Correct your spelling

worldwide

connectivity and services for companies and schools.

arorashifali8

Jan 25, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task

Improve task response by giving a clear position in the introduction and keep it through the essay.

coherence

Work on logical flow; use linking words to join ideas.

grammar

Use simple sentences; fix grammar mistakes; avoid long run-on sentences.

content

Give more precise and varied support for each point; avoid general statements.

language

Check spelling and punctuation; fix key mistakes.

content

Clear attempt to discuss both sides of the issue.

example

Some relevant examples (Covid-19, Zoom) used to support points.

structure

Introduction and conclusion show a structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

357 words

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