IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries. What problem does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

In many underdeveloped
countries
Use synonyms
, a large number of skilled professional
workers
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as doctors and teachers, are migrating to more developed/wealthier
countries
Use synonyms
 in search of better opportunities.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 situation may
individual
Verb problem
bring individual
show examples
 benefits, it creates a huge void in the
countries
Use synonyms
 they leave behind
..
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the problems associated with
occurrence
Correct article usage
the occurrence
show examples
 and the possible solutions. The main problem caused by
mass
Correct article usage
the mass
show examples
 migration of professional
workers
Use synonyms
 is the scarcity of essential services in underdeveloped
countries
Use synonyms
.When doctors travel abroad,hospitals become understaffed,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to a drop in the quality of healthcare and longer waiting times for patients and other healthcare beneficiaries.Coincidentally, the mass migration of qualified teachers
also
Linking Words
 affects the educational system negatively, as schools find it hard to maintain teaching standards.
This
Linking Words
 will eventually hamper national development and create a huge gap between rich and poor
countries
Use synonyms
. Another
signficant
Correct your spelling
significant
 predicament is the issue of
shortage
Correct article usage
the shortage
show examples
 of
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 investment.Many professional
workers
Use synonyms
 received
education
Use synonyms
 that was
subsidized
Change the spelling
subsidised
show examples
 by funds
gotten
Verb problem
obtained
show examples
 from taxpayers.When they leave their
countries
Use synonyms
,their home
countries
Use synonyms
 fail to
reveive
Correct your spelling
receive
 the dividend from
this
Linking Words
 investment,
while
Linking Words
 developed nations benefit from the skilled
workers
Use synonyms
 they did not invest in through cheap
education
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 scenario places an economic strain on the weaker
countries
Use synonyms
. To combat
this
Linking Words
 problem, the government of the respective nations should improve salaries and working
enviroments
Correct your spelling
environments
/conditions for skilled
workers
Use synonyms
.Good pay, better facilities and opportunities for
self development
Use the right word
self-development
show examples
 can encourage
workers
Use synonyms
 to stay.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 the government can introduce a law where graduates are made to serve their
Use synonyms
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 for
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 number of years after completing their
education
Use synonyms
. International cooperation ,where wealthier
countries
Use synonyms
 could support poor
countries
Use synonyms
 through foreign training programs,financial aid , or temporary work visas, where a worker has to return home after working for a specified time and gaining experience. In conclusion, the migration of skilled professionals/
workers
Use synonyms
 creates a very
serious
Punctuation problem
serious,
show examples
 catastrophic situation for underdeveloped
countries
Use synonyms
, mostly in
healthcar
Correct your spelling
healthcare
 and
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,with better laws and international assistance,
this
Linking Words
 problem can be reduced effectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Plan your essay. Start with a short line that says what you will say, then say it.
task response
Give a clear view of the problem and the aim to fix it. Add a fact or clear example to show the effect.
grammar
Check small errors in spell and gram. They take away space of your work.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas. Words like 'first', 'then', 'but', 'also', 'for example' make the path easy to read.
lexical
Keep the village in a simple way. Try to keep one idea per line and keep lines short.
structure
Intro and end are there.
content
You talk about both problem and fix.
content
The topic stays the same in the whole essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: