IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development, however others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages

A lot of nations are interested in upgrading the quality of life of
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 citizens through improvement in
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
Where as
Use the right word
Whereas
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some folks argue that
this
Linking Words
 would downgrade human interaction
creating
Punctuation problem
, creating
show examples
 societal issues. There are certainly pros and cons of
this
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that the benefits
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
 the
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
. One
importance
Replace the word
important
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of
Check wording
aspect of
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 advancing economic growth is that there would be an increase in the wealth of that region. There would be more income for building
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
infrastructure and improving all segments of the economy. There would be more job creation
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 workers would
be probably
Correct word order
probably be
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 compensated. 
Secondly
Linking Words
, a richer government is more likely to provide scholarships and general aid to the less privileged.
This
Linking Words
 would mean free/
subsidized
Change the spelling
subsidised
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 education, healthcare and housing. In general, people would be happier.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, national financial growth would require people in
active
Correct article usage
the active
show examples
work force
Use the right word
workforce
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 to spend more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 doing their jobs.
This
Linking Words
 would lead to less time spent with family and friends
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 ultimately
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 impacts the social community negatively.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 people are given more income, they would likely desire more unnecessary things that are not beneficial. In conclusion, it appears that the pros of boosting a
teritory's
Correct your spelling
territory's
 finances far
surpasses
Correct subject-verb agreement
surpass
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 cons since individuals would have more income and financial freedom.

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task
Make your view clear in the opening line and keep it in all the essay.
task
Give strong, specific examples to back ideas (not just general statements).
coherence
Link ideas with clear and simple words, and use better order in paragraphs.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Fix small errors like whereas, territory, outweigh, and cons.
structure
Clear stance and overall plan are easy to follow.
content
Some good contrast and balance of ideas.
content
Uses examples related to education and welfare.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • growth
  • money
  • jobs
  • work
  • health
  • education
  • school
  • home
  • city
  • nature
  • air
  • water
  • pollution
  • crowding
  • stress
  • cost
  • living
  • value
  • culture
  • fair
  • equal
  • policy
  • plan
  • balance
  • environment
  • develop
  • change
  • hope
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