IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The overuse of natural resources cause an ultimate exhaust of them. People have been using them to be in swim of new styles such as making new furniture of recent design. This causes a huge harm to the environment. Therefore, the government should discourage people the overuse of this resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In today's complex world, exploitation of natural
resources
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 has become a common issue. Some
people
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 have been using the
resources
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 to make new styles which harmfully affected them. I strongly agree with the statement.
This
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 essay will discuss the argument in detail and explain the role of the government
to help
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in helping
show examples
 these
resources
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. Recently, the
overuse
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 of natural
resources
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 has significantly exhausted them.
People
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 constantly use these
resources
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 for making new furniture or modern clothes , which requires more
resources
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,
such
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 as
trees
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.
This
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 leads to cutting
trees
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 and causes deforestation, which increases the harmful impacts of climate change.
For example
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, a recent study by a Scientific Journal showed that 35% of forests in Jordan have become deforested because of the huge demand for wood for making furniture.
Therefore
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, the
overuse
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 of
trees
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 causes an ultimate exhaustion of them.
On the other hand
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, both the government and private sectors play a crucial role in controlling the
overuse
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 of natural
resources
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. There are several methods to help the natural
resources
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. One of these methods is encouraging the recycling of used wood in order to reduce the new wood. Another useful method is introducing strict rules and regulations to control the cutting of
trees
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.
In contrast
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, planting
trees
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 is essential to lessen the effects of overusing these
resources
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.
For instance
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, in XXXX Country, cutting
trees
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 requires permission from higher authorities, and cutting
trees
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 should be allowed only for ageing or damaged plants. I personally believe that the authority is responsible for encouraging factories and
people
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 to stop
uncontrolled
Correct article usage
the uncontrolled
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 use of
the
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apply
show examples
resources
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 and applying stricter rules to address
this
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 problem. In conclusion, exploiting the natural
resources
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 for creating new lifestyles has negatively affected our environment and has increased the effects of climate change. Government, industrial sectors, and
people
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 should take part
to resolve
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in resolving
show examples
this
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 issue by following a balanced approach to alleviate the effects of
overuse
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 and find alternatives to natural
resources
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.

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task response
Open with a clear view of the task in the first paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Add more strong links between ideas to show flow and order.
task response
Give real, not placeholder, examples and keep to the topic.
task response
Explain how each idea helps your view and note if balance is asked.
coherence cohesion
Check grammar and use linking words to join sentences.
task response
The writer states a clear view and stays with it.
coherence cohesion
There are links between causes and effects that show some flow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • resources - things we use to live, such as water, wood, metal
  • environment - air, water, land that surround us
  • government - the group of people who lead a country
  • discourage - to make people less willing to do something
  • overuse - use too much
  • waste - use badly or too much, then throw away
  • design - plan how something will look and work
  • furniture - movable objects like chairs, tables for a home
  • harm - bad effect on something
  • policy - a plan or rule made by government
  • law - rule made by government
  • tax - money charged by government on goods or actions
  • ban - to stop something by law
  • recycle - to use again materials after use
  • reuse - use again
  • sustainable - able to keep going for long time without harm
  • pollution - dirty air, water, or land
  • climate - weather pattern over time
  • habitat - the place where animals live
  • industry - business in a field like wood, metal
  • economy - how a country makes and spends money
  • consumer - a person who buys goods
  • business - company that makes or sells goods
  • education - learning about a topic
  • awareness - knowledge about a topic
  • standard - a level that is set for quality
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