IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV shows. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Importing films and shows from foreign countries is considered better for
country's
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the country's
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 culture
rathar
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rather
 than producing films nationally by some
people
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both viewpoints
along with
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 personal opinion in
forthcoming
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the forthcoming
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 paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, international
movies
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 demonstrate different
cultures
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 and heritage to
wider
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the wider
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 public.
People
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 living around the globe can access and adopt different cultural values and traditions
which
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, which
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 can help them in personal development. Indian TV shows,
for example
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, introduced the concept of Yoga to the world,
consequently
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, helping millions of
people
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 live
healthy
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a healthy
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 life.
Thus
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, communities can access valuable insights from diverse
cultures
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 through
movies
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 and shows.
On the other hand
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,
great
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the great
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 influence of
western
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Western
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movies
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 can distract
people
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 from their native culture, resulting in
loss
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the loss
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 of cultural identities. Locally produced films showcase local festivals and traditions, helping
younger
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the younger
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 generation to connect with them easily.
Movies
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such
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 as Elizabeth I
shows
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show
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 the true picture of
english
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English
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 history, showcasing
dynamics
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the dynamics
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 of
medival
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medieval
 England. So, it is important to create shows locally to preserve the country's
indentity
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identity
. In my opinion,
people
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 can learn about diverse
cultures
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 through international
movies
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;
however
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, nationally made
movies
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 are
also
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 crucial to
preserve
Wrong verb form
preserving
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 personal identities.
To conclude
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,
although
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 foreign
movies
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 and shows
widely
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apply
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showcase
variety
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a variety
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 of
cultures
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, the
Correct word order
widely, the
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 importance of local
movies
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 cannot be neglected.
People
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 must learn and preserve their own identity first before learning about new countries and traditions.

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strength
You answer both sides and give your view, which shows task is clear.
improvement
Fix many small spelling and word mistakes to help the reader.
improvement
Use more linking words to show how ideas go from one idea to the next.
improvement
Keep each sentence clear and sometimes split long lines into shorter ones.
improvement
Give one strong example for each point and explain how it helps the idea.
advice
Check facts, like dates and names, to keep the meaning true.
strength
The essay covers both sides and gives a view.
strength
It uses basic linking words like 'To begin with' and 'On the other hand'.
strength
Examples are used to back up points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • cultural preservation
  • cultural identity
  • cultural enrichment
  • broadcasting
  • international influence
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