IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The line chart provides key information about different
unemploymet
Correct your spelling
unemployment
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 in different countries
Japan
Punctuation problem
, Japan
show examples
 and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
. The units are
meaured
Correct your spelling
measured
 in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
unemploymet
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 rate decreased and increased significantly over the period.
In addition
Linking Words
 US increased gradually over the period
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 Japan decreased
dramaticlly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 over the years.
Acoording
Correct your spelling
According
 to what is shown,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 dropped from about 7% in
Mar-
Use synonyms
93 to around 6% in
Mar-
Use synonyms
94,
then
Linking Words
 significantly
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 to around 5.4% in
Mar-
Use synonyms
95
after
Punctuation problem
. After
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 that, the figure slightly rose to 5.6% in
Mar-
Use synonyms
96. From
Mar-
Use synonyms
97 to
Mar-
Use synonyms
99 the line
continu
Correct your spelling
continued
Verb problem
to decreaed
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decreaed
Correct your spelling
decrease
 significantly. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
Japan
Jappan
Add a comma
Jappan,
show examples
 the figure shows
from
Correct word choice
that from
show examples
Mar-
Use synonyms
94 to
Use synonyms
Mar-95
Punctuation problem
Mar-95,
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 there
are
Verb problem
is are
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rapidly increased
Replace the word
rapid increase
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 over the period about 1.5%
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 In
Use synonyms
Mar-96
Punctuation problem
Mar-96,
show examples
 there is
Correct article usage
a slightly
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slightly
Replace the word
slight
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grew
Verb problem
growth of
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 around 3.5% and
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
jumped
Replace the word
jump
show examples
. There
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
 intersection between
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and Japan in
Mar-
Use synonyms
99 with
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
4.5
Change preposition
of 4.5
show examples
%.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words mar- with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rates
  • graph
  • trend
  • changes
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • findings
  • observations
  • data
  • statistics
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