IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that studying History is very important. Others say that it is irrelevant and has many limitations and should not be studied at all. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Each nation has its
history
Use synonyms
, which
reserves
Use the right word
preserves
show examples
 its culture, science, and traits and transfers
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to the next generations. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
expolring
Correct your spelling
exploring
history
Use synonyms
 is essential,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that it is not useful and should not be studied at all.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and provide relevant examples. Supporters of studying
history
Use synonyms
 argue that
history
Use synonyms
 is mainly considered the main
pilar
Use the right word
pillar
show examples
 of each
civilization
Change the spelling
civilisation
show examples
. By learning
history
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 can learn their origins, ancestors, and culture.
This
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lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
 to
preserve
Wrong verb form
preserving
show examples
 it and learn it to the young
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, we studied
history
Use synonyms
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
accordingly
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, we learnt the origin of our country, how the religion started and spread, and the wars that happened in the past
,
Punctuation problem
. Also
show examples
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
also,
show examples
 we studied
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the scientists who invented important things
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our lives.
Therefore
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,
History
Use synonyms
 is the main subject to explore each nation.
On the other hand
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, the opponents of studying
history
Use synonyms
 believe that it is
unsignificant
Correct your spelling
insignificant
 as it is limited. They think that young
people
Use synonyms
 live in
Correct article usage
a fast-paces
show examples
fast-paces
Use the right word
fast-paced
show examples
 life which requires
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them to follow globalisation and modern technology
for employing
Change preposition
to employ
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
different
life's
Check wording
apply
show examples
aspects. To illustrate, A recent study by the Social
Center
Change the spelling
Centre
show examples
 in Jordan showed that 78% of young
people
Use synonyms
 prefer studying
Inforamtion
Correct your spelling
Information
 Technology subjects rather than historical subjects.
Thus
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, the new technology and its studies are more flexible and interesting historical studies. I personally agree with a balanced approach that
including
Replace the word
includes
show examples
 studying the
history
Use synonyms
 to explore our origins
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
civilization
Change the spelling
civilisation
show examples
,
in addition
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 to
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 new developments to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness about the value of our
history
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, studying
history
Use synonyms
 is
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 for each generation to know their past and develop their future. I believe
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
history
Use synonyms
 should be
educated
Verb problem
taught
show examples
 to young
people
Use synonyms
 to preserve it.

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grammar
Fix the many spelling and grammar errors. Use simple, clear sentences.
coherence
Link ideas with small words like 'first', 'but', 'so', 'for example' to show how your ideas go from one to next.
structure
Make one idea in each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and end with a short idea.
content
Give more clear proof of your points. From history to the view, use a real or clear example that shows the idea.
task
In the end, restate your view and give a simple reason why you hold it.
structure
The essay follows a plan: intro, two sides, and a view.
content
The writer shows a real wish to answer the task and give an opinion.
content
Some known facts or ideas are used as examples.
content
The tone is steady and the reader can see the writer's view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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