In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, there are lots of ways to help people who want to
get
Verb problem
lead
show examples
a healthier
life
Use synonyms
. So the number of population live more than ever before. Everythings in
this
Linking Words
world
also
Linking Words
have pros and cons, and
this
Linking Words
problem is
not
Rephrase
no
show examples
exception. If our community have more elderly
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. We can have many benefits from them.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they do all of
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
will all
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
heart. Because they learn lots of knowledge, they explore new things earlier than us so they get more experience in their
life
Use synonyms
. Or when they have
face to face
Use the right word
a face-to-face
show examples
with
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
or
difficult
Correct article usage
a difficult
show examples
problem, they
usually
Verb problem
are usually
show examples
patient to do each step. And
also
Linking Words
very hard working.
Howerver
Correct your spelling
However
, because of their old
year
Check wording
age
show examples
, they can’t be
more
Rephrase
as
show examples
creative or be
an
Use the right word
as
show examples
extrovert
Replace the word
extroverted
show examples
person like
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
. They can’t come to the factory and do the work all night. It
effects
Use the right word
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the quality of products or something.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
more
Correct word choice
larger
show examples
number
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population, the
more
Correct word choice
larger
show examples
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
of people who
missed
Wrong verb form
miss
show examples
their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. And the
last
Linking Words
one, there
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
many
stress
Change preposition
of stress
show examples
for the breadwinner.
For example
Linking Words
, they have to earn more money than usual.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I think having an ageing population
outweigh
Verb problem
does
show examples
not make the biggest problem
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
, it can bring lots of good things for our
life
Use synonyms
,
Correct your spelling
however
howerver
Punctuation problem
howerver,
show examples
it
also
Linking Words
effect
Verb problem
affects
show examples
a little for our
life
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan before you write. Make a quick outline of your ideas for each paragraph.
structure
Have a clear start and end. Add an opening sentence that states the topic and your view, and finish with a short conclusion.
cohesion
Use simple linking words to connect ideas. Use first, next, also, but, however to show the flow of ideas.
grammar
Keep grammar simple and check mistakes like 'population live' should be 'population lives'; 'Everythings' -> 'Everything'; 'Howerver' -> 'However'.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides of the issue.
structure
There is an effort to give examples related to work and money.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: