You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. In your letter, include the following information: 1) what kind of business you want to start 2) how much money you need 3)the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money. You do NOT need to write any addresses

Dear Sir/Ma, I plan to commence my personal enterprise and would like to obtain a business loan. I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to inquire about the necessary information needed to obtain a loan for a start-up. I would want to open a real estate company in the coming year. Interestingly, there are a lot of buildings to buy and sell in my neighbourhood.

Moreover

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, I have attended a good number of conferences

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and completed a fair number of courses in the real estate industry. In total, I require approximately $100,000.

This

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includes the cost of purchasing my first small building, hiring an attorney, and paying for property taxes. From my calculation, the loan would be repaid 2 years after my first purchase. The first business year is for breaking even, and the second year would yield profit.

Finally

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, I am excited for

this

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opportunity, and I appreciate your consideration. Looking forward to your response. Yours faithfully, Ginika Uzoekwe.

ginauzoekwe995

Jan 26, 2026

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task

Task: The letter answers the task well by naming the business, the money you need, and how long to repay. Try to be clearer and shorter, and add a small plan for how you will use the loan.

coherence

Coherence: Put each idea in its own part or paragraph and use simple links like First, Next, Then to help flow.

tone

Polite and formal tone with a proper closing

content

It states all 3 required items: kind of business, amount, and repayment time

structure

General letter form is followed

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

158 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

business loan
finance
capital
entrepreneur
startup
investment
repayment period
repayment schedule
principal amount
interest rate
financial assistance
business plan
profit potential
market analysis
industry opportunities

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