IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the adventages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

Nowadays,
children
Use synonyms
 are told they can reach any goal if they try hard.
This
Linking Words
 idea has good and bad sides. There are many advantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 idea.
First,
Linking Words
it can raise motivation.
For example
Linking Words
, if kids think effort helps, they work longer and
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 give up easily.
Second,
Linking Words
it teaches planning and
strady
Correct your spelling
strategy
 work.
Children
Use synonyms
 learn to set goals , make a plan and keep to it. The
last
Linking Words
 good point is they can build
belife
Correct your spelling
belief
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many
disadantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of
this
Linking Words
 idea. One of them
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can put too much pressure on
children
Use synonyms
. A big failure can make them feel they are not good enough.
Forthermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, it may push kids to fear risk , which can take
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 joy from learning.
Finally
Linking Words
, it is important to give a chance for
children
Use synonyms
 to
told
Verb problem
be told
show examples
 that they can
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 anything if they try it
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more times.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Fix spelling and grammar so the meaning is clear.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas and make the flow easier to follow.
content
Add more clear examples to back each point.
structure
Make the ending stronger and show a clear final idea.
content
The text shows both good and bad sides.
structure
There is a clear start, middle and end.
content
The writer tries to give advice at the end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • effort
  • try
  • work
  • goal
  • dream
  • plan
  • motivation
  • success
  • failure
  • pressure
  • stress
  • belief
  • self
  • resilience
  • setback
  • support
  • guidance
  • praise
  • progress
  • real life
  • luck
  • opportunity
  • skill
  • talent
  • fair
  • equal chance
  • role model
  • helps
  • help
  • boundaries
What to do next:
Look at other essays: